Today I Am Grateful For.....

Had a bit of scare about my Mum's health - running around for the past 2 days - looking like it's something that can be controlled with the right course of treatment - phew .

First time in weeks, I've been able to sit out in the garden - bit windy but we'll put up with that. Solar fountain still not working - but if that's all I've got to worry about all is fine

 

Crikey, worrying times those! Sooooo relieved to read that it is something which can be controlled with the right treatment My best of wishes to your mum for a positive outcome and her inner positive outlook

PS: Just a tip ... you need sunshine for a solar fountain to work just saying (Maybe one day they'll invent a wind powered one )

 

It rained in Shineyland? I didn't see mention of that on the BBC news.

 

being alive.. this is from my face-ache. It's quite harsh, honest and might be some swearing. Sorry in advance if its upsetting but I can't carry on posting as if nothing happened...

---------
I know a lot of people were concerned "or nosing in" on what happened yesterday. And to be fair this is a brutally embarrassing post to put up.

First off I would like to say a big, big thank you to Rhys I honestly dunno what I'd do with out you or how the fck you put up with me. Thank you to the Crisis team over Merthyr Hospital. What would I have done with out you the last 2 times eh? And finally, a big thank you to Merthyr Police for searching (although there really was no need to get the helicopter out) and everyone else who went out and wasted petrol/diesel/money/effort/time to go look for me..

I have mental health issues, some people including my immediate family (not all) don't take it very seriously and think I'm a "spoilt twt".. normally, I'm told to "get on with it" and "there's worse off than you" or "take a chill pill". FYI, I do take chill pills, called Duloxetine.. can't be working too well though can they?!

From time to time, I tend to snap, take a sht load of pills (not bouncing off my tits pills just your normal paracetamol etc..) drive my car to the nearest mountain or reservoir and think about driving down full pelt/in. It's hard a decision to stick your foot on the accelerator when you feel the pain all over your chest for your children and partner with tears blinding your eyes and your screams making you deaf... just as your about to do it. Instead, after 12 hours of drifting in out of sleep and manic screaming episodes, I done the "sanest" thing I could and took myself to hospital at 8 pm from being out at 8am, with no shoes, no top just a bra, pj bottoms, socks and a dressing gown..

I'm not looking for a well done or half arsed round of applause. I'm asking you to take mental health seriously, anxiety, depression, bipolar.. it's not what you think, it's not what you think is going to happen or when.. it just is and sometimes it really does take over and you can't do anything but self-destruct.

Today I'm in sound-ish mind.. tomorrow might be different.. I don't plan this sht and I'm sorry.

-------


I've tried editing the swearing and I'd just like to say I'm not always a happy tea drinking plant potting person...BUT I am grateful to see my kids have smiles on their faces, my partner with open loving arms and a few members of family I highly regard... after all I put them through. Guilt ensues.

 

Hi Linz,

Can't really add anymore to what Woo has said.

Just try and do your best and take care.

I'm sure your family love you for who you are.

 

Oh @wiseowl it wasn't to the GC community, I'm sorry if it came across that way I know a few members suffer.. I didn't mean to offend in anyway what so ever. It was what I had posted on social media. Most of my social group are in the teens- 40's and the general notion of that group is "get on with it" when it comes to mental health. Sorry again for misleading.