Does this make me a bad dad?

CL1.1 is becoming a lazy git. I've noticed he spends more time on computer games than playing with actual toys or making stuff or generally doing stuff. He's also skived off our martial arts classes a few times.

So, a week ago I made a new house rule. In any week, there's to be no more computer game time than measurable physical training time. So for every one hour of martial arts or swimming he does in a week, he gets one hour of gadget time.

So today I get in from work and he's playing on the Nintendo wii. Fair enough. He's had more than two hours gadget time this week, but only 2 hours swimming and martial arts, but that's OK because he's doing 2 hours training tonight. Then he tells me he's not. He doesn't want to. Fair enough. I'm not going to force him. But it does mean he's exceeded his gadget time allowance. So I switched it off. He switched it back on. So I disconnected it all and placed it next to the bin.

 

A bargain is a bargain.

 

... growing up

Does PE or other physical school activities not count?

He's growing up

 

No. On the basis that I think I was being overly generous with the straight one hour for one hour deal as it is.

At his age, he should be more active.

But the thing is, he needs to be. He has problems with his feet and knees that don't bother him much yet, but the specialist has said that he needs to be very active now to correct the problem while he is still growing, otherwise it will be there all his life. Doctor even said that he insists on either martial arts or gymnastics for boys, or dancing or gymnastics for girls (he's the sexist one not me ) because such activities combine the right balance of strength, flexibility and coordination needed to pull everything into place and keep it there. Doc said that if he stops training or becomes lazy, the problem will get worse.

So it's my duty to encourage activity and discourage laziness. Trouble is, there's a fine line between encouragement and pressure, and I'm never quite sure if, despite my best intentions, if I'm doing the right thing.

 

It's not easy being a parent. Try to find something physical that you both enjoy. How old is he? If pre teen you still have time to find an activity that you both enjoy but once they reach 13 or 14 they just want to be with their friends. One of my sons loved rock climbing and it has been a real bond between him and my husband. Surely it doesn't have to only be gymnastics or martial arts. I think you are right to limit "electronics " time.

 

Is he doing martial arts and swimming because he wants to, or because you tell him to?

 

one thing i remember is being forced to do something i didn't want to do and i'm sure i still have the 2 inch marks from the belt across by backside make things to do, fun and exciting but you must have rules with treats

 

He was already doing martial arts before his foot problems manifested.

It's his choice but of course I encourage him.

He loves swimming, so no problem there. He loves one of our martial arts classes, aikido, but that's only on for one hour a week. He is losing interest in the other class, more like karate. That's fine by me. It's his choice. But if he's going to quit it, he has to accept that less training time means less gadget time. I'm not having him quit just so he can waste away in front of some pieces of software.

 

Must admit as a kid at school I hated football and most games really, just hated rules.

but spent most of my spare time roaming the local park, climbing trees etc.
Oh and smoking

I know things are different now, but there are loads of ways of being active, how about cycling, not competitive, just for fun.

There seems to be this idea these days that unless you are competing you're not taking exercise.

 

Our chosen martial arts are very traditional. Perhaps that's the problem for 1.1.

Traditional martial arts are not about competition. They are not sports. There are techniques that have no practical use in sport or combat, because they are for physical training and alignment of joints and such.

There's a statistic somewhere shows that martial arts sometimes save lives, but not in the obvious way. A study looked at a number of old folks admitted to hospital after a fall. Statistically those with martial arts training suffered less injury than those without, because their flexibility, strength and coordination had all played a role in reducing the forces of impact on the bones and joints.

Anyway, I digress. Suffice to say I would never put 1.1 in a competitive martial art. I think that's just wrong for kids.

 

Hi Clue, not good at putting over my point, so I'll have another go.

Instruction, doing what you are told, not really just having fun.

If a kid wants to do something you wont have to force them into it, or stop them playing on the computer, they will actually go out and do it themselves.

Every one seems to think that exercise has to be controlled, someone telling you what to do, or some form of managed exercise.

Exercise is about just going out and having fun with a ball or doing crazy things, ever tried climbing a lamp post?
It aint easy.

Why do adults spend so much time keeping the kids happy these days.
Parents seem to spend all the summer holidays trying to find somewhere to take the kids, WHY?

 

Do not climb up a flag pole, i know someone that did and when he slid down, his, you know what's, got ribed out by the cord tie off bracket