Does this make me a bad dad?

We were young once

 

True. And I bet our parents stressed over us every bit as much as we stress over our kids. Perhaps we don't remember it that way because ours did a good job of their swan impression. Ie. Graceful and dignified on the surface, splashing frantically underneath.

 

Without a doubt.
For them it was the worry that children were watching too much TV; perhaps not so different from video games/internet I suppose?
So, that gets me thinking: how did your parents regulate your "gadget" time?

 

No, I love the smell of wd40, i do wonder if they lock me in the garage to play with the tool box

 

I don't think they did really. Times were different then.

TV was boring for kids, except for about an hour after school when there were a few kids programs on.

I didn't get a computer until I was 10, and as much as I loved that computer, there's only so much time you can spend on it when there's no such thing as the Internet, and games took upwards of 5 minutes to load from audio cassette tapes.

 

The grandchildren of one of my clients do not have mobiles or computers. It is only earlier this year the parents actually bought a tv for the house. These 3 children, the eldest 14 the youngest 11, are so well grounded and confident with themselves, that, when they stay at their grandmother`s all they want to do is play in the garden. They also love gardening, cutting the lawns and, especially, bonfires.

 

That's great, but I think there's a balance to be struck.

Kids need to be tech savvy if they're going to have the widest range of options for building a career. I think to be competitive, it's important to start early. I see technology as the modern day reading, writing and arithmetic. But of course it's important not to let it get too far. And there's where we have to find a balance.

 

I meant that when you go for any job nowadays, you're just expected to be okay with computers and related gadgets. Whether it's an all out tech role, or a tradesman keeping track of his accounts and schedule, or even the modern farmer using satellite information to see if it's the ideal harvest time. It's just an assumption now that you can use tech kit. In that respect it's the new 3 Rs.

 

Are we related? (I never got brought home by a policeman ... not as a child )
Had one or two hidings though but that was down to my brothers and as we wouldn't tell tales on each other, my mother would smack us all under the reasoning, "I got the right one in the end!" I also remember cutting my finger open with a knife while washing up. My mother was not happy! She claimed I'd only done it to get out of the washing up so stuck a plaster on it and handed me the tea towel so I could get on with the drying up!!!

Think the key word here is "toys" which, with regard to cl1.1, his Wii is the modern day equivalent.

 

Not sure how old your son is but maybe he is of an age whereby he is testing your authority....we all did it I'll bet!
Have you spoken to him about what the doctor has advised? Does he understand there are likely to be long term implications if he becomes a couch potato?Obviously you don't want to scare the living daylights out of him but children are a lot cleverer than we give them credit for. It's lack of experience not brainpower they "suffer" from. With my lot I got quite good tho I say it myself at striking deals with them. I would give options of what I was prepared to accept and then they got to choose which option they liked/disliked least! That meant they felt in control a bit (weren't of course but you have to be bit sneaky!!). A sure fire way of making children drag their heels and fight against you is if you MAKE them do something. My late Mum was made by her father to play the piano and play chess (mother liked charging up and down a hockey field or playing tennis). Mother used her brain and got her father to agree that if she won the schools music prize ONCE then that would end her piano playing and piano would be sold. Agreement. Mother promptly won the prize and piano disappeared from her home the following week! Mother then struck a similar deal re chess. Won the under 18 British chess championships and never played chess again. Mother was SO horrified at people knowing she played chess she only told me of her feat about 10 years before she died and showed me a newspaper cutting to prove her story. At her funeral I asked the minister to mention about Mother's chess prowess, it brought about peels of hysterical laughter (well needed on a sad occasion), I was the only person who knew, not even my brothers had any idea that Mum had been very good at chess.
As your son enjoys swimming could you maybe do that more and leave out the things he is not so keen on? Swimming is great exercise and kind on joints etc. Maybe you could suggest he starts to learn to dive if he hasn't done that yet and his feet will allow. This could lead to him getting kean and then start to do extra exercises in the gym to improve his swimming/strength.
As for being a "bad dad" how on earth can a father who is taking a great interest in his sons wellbeing be bad? Take a deep breath, perhaps adopt at least on the outside a slightly more casual approach and put "the ball" a bit more in "his court". "It's your body, you only get 1 and it needs to last you a long time, it's in YOUR interest not mine to look after it" sort of conversation. Good luck and if all else fails pour yourself a stiff drink!