LATEST MOAN FROM YOU AND ME 2019

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by shiney, Jan 5, 2019.

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  1. Doghouse Riley

    Doghouse Riley Head Gardener

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    That reminds me.

    Many years ago this was reported in the papers.

    A woman phoned the police to tell them she could see from her window two men breaking into her garden shed. The police told her they hadn't anyone to send. The men continued to take stuff out of her shed, so she phoned again and they still said they'd no one to send.
    After half an hour she phomed again and said. "Don't bother sending anyone, I've just shot them."

    Within a couple of minutes the police arrived team-handed, I think she said their were six police cars. The men by then had cleared off with the contents of her shed.
    The inspector remonstrated with her. "You said you'd shot them! You lied!"

    She replied, "You said you had no one to send, so you lied!"

    I can't remember the outcome.
     
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    • pete

      pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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      Even my local morrisons has a security guard on the door.
       
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      • Doghouse Riley

        Doghouse Riley Head Gardener

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        Lots of small convenience stores run by the main chains have them. I think they are essential.
        These stores never seem to have enough staff and you can't expect young people to risk their safety, protecting their employer's stock or cash.
        In many the employers are asking for trouble as on the late nights they have so few staff working.


        Back in the day, when I was working running big stores, we had both a plain clothes store detective and a security guard on the entrance or patroling the store. I always insisted on a tall well built smartly turned out young man. Some security staff I've seen in stores look like something the cat dragged in. Can't be much of a deterent.
        "The powers that be" often wanted you to cut down on such expenses, but I'd never put up with it.

        The biggest deterent to theft was a physical presence and an alert staff. Never had anyone threatened with violence.

        It amazed me how some stores run by my fellow managers had horrendous shrinkage results. I always put it down to poor management.
        Poor result? No bonus! I always got mine.

        These days, high value items are electronically tagged. I've been in stores where someone has gone out through the front doors, the alarm has gone off as someone was walking out and no one took a blind bit of notice.
         
      • lolimac

        lolimac Total Gardener

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        That same thought crossed my mind too Pete.
         
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        • shiney

          shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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          It was quite some years ago but I accosted an intruder in my front garden (I happened to have a garden fork in my hand) and asked him what he was doing. I had been working in the shrubbery to one side of the garden. He was obviously up to no good because of his slightly furtive manner and I asked him what he was doing. As he was facing meat the side of the garden he didn't quite come up with the right excuse. He said he saw that the garage door was open and was going to knock on the door and tell me. It's quite a good excuse - if I had a garage! When I told him to clear off he got quite abusive until I jabbed him in the bum with the fork. He said he would call the police (this was way before mobile phones) and I did get a visit from them the next day. When I told them what happened the sergeant said I should have jabbed him harder. :heehee:
           
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          • Doghouse Riley

            Doghouse Riley Head Gardener

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            1) Tuesday of last week. I went in and made an appointment for an eye test at Specsavers. It was for this Tuesday.

            2) During the course of the week I got two e-mail reminders, if I'd given them my mobile number I'd have got a text reminder too.

            2) I went to have my eyes tested on Tuesday, and chose the frames. They will be ready next Tuesday.

            3) I've just had another e-mail from Specsavers. "That'll learn 'em!"


            Protect your eye health for the future

            Coming in to see us for your recent eye test was a great first step but taking care of your eyesight doesn’t end there. It’s really important you wear the right glasses to help prevent eyestrain. So, come back in and speak to our experts. You won’t need to make an appointment and they can help you find the perfect pair.

            In the meantime, if you’d like to know more about how to read your prescription, just follow the link below or call your store.


            4) I've just "unsubscribed" from all e-mails from Specsavers.

            FFS!
             
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            • pete

              pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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              I still get letters reminding me its 5 yrs since my last eye test, no it aint, I had one last year at Boots.:biggrin:
              I stopped using specsavers as they give you the frames off the display, often tried on by many people and sometimes a bit bent, when I complained they said it was normal practice, not sure if it is, but I'd expect a discount if I bought a fridge for example that was on display in a shop, so why not for a bent pair of glasses?

              And you cant park anywhere near the place, just a disaster really and no cheaper than anywhere else.
               
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              • Scrungee

                Scrungee Well known for it

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                And they don't do anything when you inform them of a customer with too many items in their basket at the express checkout.
                 
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                • wiseowl

                  wiseowl Admin Staff Member

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                  Good morning nothing at all to moan about this morning,just counting my blessings and I always use Specsavers ;):blue thumb:
                   
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                  • Doghouse Riley

                    Doghouse Riley Head Gardener

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                    On the subject of shops.

                    Back in the day when superstore general managers were well paid and were "kings of their own empire" not as they are now, "just following orders," the job was far more enjoyable. For a kick off you had some staff. I mean, departments had a manager or a supervisor and there'd be two check-out supervisors to cover 20 checkouts at peak time. Now stores don't have them.
                    To call someone a "supervisor" you have to pay them the USDAW agreed rate. I think one chain call them if they have them, "Checkout Captains," they won't be paid the supervisor rate.

                    All big stores have cut back on staffing levels over the decades, due to competition. In the old days the competitor for a big store would be a few miles away, now there can be three within yards of each other.

                    The point I'm getting to was that you could spend some time on the sales floor talking to customers and just generally observing what was going on. No one seems to have the time for that now.
                    The analogy is, it's like a farmer leaning on the gate of a field apparently doing nothing, when in fact he's observing the animals in the field checking that they are all OK.

                    I tried to spend at least an hour on the sales floor every day. Customers would come up to talk to you. They knew who was the manager. He was the guy in the smart suit and highly polished shoes, no need for him to wear a badge, now I can never tell the difference between those in charge and the rank and file in some stores.

                    This was funny.

                    One day I was having a conversation in the middle of the sales floor with my deputy, when a little old lady came up to me and said.

                    "Why are those large cans of peaches on the end of that aisle cheaper than the small ones round the side?"

                    "Ah! That's because they are on a four week promotion they'll go back to the higher price next week, so I suggest you buy one whilst they are at this price."

                    "But I only want a small can as there's only me."

                    "Well, why not buy a large can, eat half and put the rest in the fridge for another day?"

                    "I haven't got a fridge."

                    "Then buy a large can eat half and throw the rest away."

                    "Young man, do you think I'm made of money?"

                    You could have a bit of a laugh, once a couple were standing behind us and reading one of the promotional posters. They were speaking out loud so we could hear.

                    "It says see press for details, I wonder which press?"

                    I turned, smiled and said, "The Times Ed Sup and the Jewish Chronicle," we all had a laugh about that. It was actually in the red tops.

                    Once an attractive woman came up to us obviously wanting to know where to find a product and said; "Three wishes?"

                    I smiled and said...."OK....What's your first?"
                    She fell about laughing.

                    Then there were visual jokes, like the St Ivel demonstrator encouraging customers to buy their powdered milk. She wore a sash with in big letters the words, "Five Pints."
                    Male readers are likely to get that one.

                    The fun went out of retailing long before I retired.
                     
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                    • pete

                      pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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                      Reminds me of something, I often get a survey to fill in, from Morrisons.
                      At one point they were asking about food waste, when that was in the news, now its all climate change yet again.
                      Anyway they asked how they could help to stop food waste.

                      The answer is simple, sell it in smaller quantities.
                      All this buy one get one free, or large tins cheaper than small ones, contributes to food waste.

                      It's crazy, half the world is starving and supermarkets are selling us stuff we dont want and will probably end up in the bin.

                      Just put the price down if you want to give us an offer, dont sell us more for the same price.
                       
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                      • Jiffy

                        Jiffy The Match is on Fire

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                        Last Sunday I had to get a few lambs back into the field they got out from{they simyed under the gate} Texted farmer what was happening, no replay or a thank you, 2 days later someone comes out to fix the problem with some baler twine :biggrin: last night I looked out and there was two more lambs out on the side of the road, I put them back but didn't text or phone farmers I knew I wouldn't get a thankyou, I do like my lamb chops with out tread marks :whistle:
                         
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                        • shiney

                          shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                          I dislike official understatements.

                          The sonic boom (two airforce jets) that has been reported in the media was not so simple. It shook the buildings here (we were almost underneath it), shook the ground (I was gardening), knocked a lot of bees off the flowers, set off burglar and car alarms, upset the birds who remained silent for a time afterwards, broke some greenhouse panes in a neighbour's garden and was even heard by our very friendly @wiseowl who lives 45 miles away - although owls do have excellent hearing.

                          The police were inundated with phone calls about an explosion.

                          The Chief constable of the county said "There is a possibility that residents nearby may have heard a loud noise" :doh: :yikes: :mad:
                           
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                          • Jiffy

                            Jiffy The Match is on Fire

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                            I think there was something about 2 fighter jets scorting a passenage plane into stanstead
                             
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                              Last edited: Jun 23, 2019
                            • shiney

                              shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                              Yes, we're only a ten minute drive from Stansted.
                               
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