“Because I thought I’d failed....”

Following on from @Vince’s excellent thread of “life’s regrets”, I thought I’d start a similar one of my own, as this is the tangent my mind ran onto.

A lot of my life is made up of “because I thought I’d failed (or would fail)...” type decisions.

The first “big” ones.
Because I thought I would fail my History “A” level, I worked extra hard at it in my second year, and as a result became fascinated with modern social history, which changed the degree I took.

Because I thought I’d failed my “A” levels generally, I taught myself to touch-type from a Teach Yourself book. Dad wouldn’t let me use the modern typewriter, as he thought I’d damage the ribbon () so I learned on a cast-iron Goliath antique of a machine, that quickly encouraged accuracy of fingers. A missed key sucked the finger deep in between the levers, and extraction was painful! My results came through as I was about to start Chapter ?10 - Numbers, so as a result I have a decent typing speed, so long as I’m not being tested on a book-keeping document!

... and then the sillier ones (but still life-changing in their own way).
Because I feared I would be a while in finding a job (a correct assumption) I took a job in the local plant nursery, which I stuck at for 8 weeks before learning of a BTEC in computing course at the local college. I cycled the 8 miles each way, with an uphill 1/2 mile slog on the way home. I learned how exhausting 8 hours back-breaking work can be. It taught me a huge respect for manual workers - and how even the “lowest of the low” in a company listen intently to the monthly company briefing.
Because my job applications were constantly failing, I started a BTEC in computing. Yes, good old BASIC! The teacher couldn’t work out why the women on the course were so much quicker than the men, until she watched us code. For various reasons, all of us could touch-type, and the men couldn’t. An hour’s touch-typing was added to the syllabus...

These experiences ( the examples are taken from just 4 years of my life) remind me how the person we are, and are becoming, is made by decisions, fears, paths taken, paths not taken, and a few U-turns thrown in for good measure!

 

I've never been risk averse and haven't worried about failing at anything. I throw myself into things which may be foolhardy but I've learned so much from mistakes I've made. I believe that worrying about failing is a waste of energy and I would rather try and fail than live with regret.
I've made many mistakes along the way but it's all part of the rich tapestry of life. I'll try anything once except incest and morris dancing

This is one of my favourite quotes from George Bernard Shaw:-

“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations.”

 

I don’t think I’m worried about failure, but maybe I am? I have thrown myself into many possibly foolhardy things, but then I strive beyond all normal levels to make them succeed...

 

Great responce. Well done. At the ed of rge day. We are, without doubt, our own worst enemies.

 

Lovely portrait @shiney and what a bargain. It's an excellent likeness of the great man. His words are so inspiring and he has left a remarkable legacy. This is another of my favourite quotes.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)​

 

Thank you!
When facing possible defeat, I always try to see the positives, and find another way to achieve a similar, maybe slightly different result.
I suppose it’s the equivalent of accepting the soil conditions that you have, and growing the appropriate plants, rather than constantly planting things that need different conditions, or just giving up!

 

That's a good analogy Sian. I've often I bought a plant without looking at the label only to find it wouldn't thrive in my garden. Thank goodness for pots where we can control the growing medium.

 

From school age it’s always been an uphill struggle, finally made to retirement age in almost one piece.
At school I was always top in maths in the top stream in school, they put me down for a CSE exam unlike all those in the rest of the class.
I got an apprenticeship and was good but refused a place on a HNC by my manager.
I was good at my work and knew what was safe to do in a dangerous environment ( chemicals ).
So I was moved to a different part of the process which was a bit alien to me, my trainer was a 21 year old girl I was 38 at the time.
I then was offered a nice job in a power station (same company) but I wasn’t qualified to do the job and the trainer was at a different location, so for 3 months I did what I wanted and read a lot of books.
While at home I injured myself and was off ill for 9 months, I went back part time and found out I was moved as I was an easy target for a redundant job. So I finished with I’ll health at 44 with a decent pension.
All these decisions about my work life were made by people who took a total disregard to what I wanted, very few asked me what I would like to do for them I am thankful I made some lifelong friends.
Where am I know well sat in the conservatory looking at all the countryside around me and the wildlife it brings, so even though there have been many set backs in life I made sure my family were provided for and gave them as good advice as I could.