LATEST MOAN FROM YOU AND ME 2019

Council thinking!!

 

I'm surprised they didn't ask you to put your broken bin in the non-recyclables bin.

 

When we moved in here, I called the council to ask if there was any possibility that we could have an additional recycling bin as even then we recycled a lot more than we would put into the black bin bags - they asked how many people were in the house, and then refused a second bin as it was only for large households. Fair enough, I thought. Three days later, a spanking shiny new bin appeared at our door, so I promptly slapped huge door numbers onto both of them, and we have had two bins ever since!

 

We had to be inspected before they would give us a second green waste bin. The inspector, head of the dpt, had a big check list form to complete. The major factor was how many recycling bins we have. We don't have any and, technically, that bars us from having a second bin. I pointed out that we do recycle as we have approx 120sq ft of compost heaps. She agreed that we do recycle sufficient and entered that we have 10 recycle bins (compost heaps aren't on the list ).

The next collection day the bin men left one of the bins so I phoned the boss immediately. She checked that the instruction to collect two bins had gone through to the contractors (she had sent it) and phoned them and ordered them to come back and pick it up. We've had no trouble in the ten years since - except for when I had a good laugh when the lift on the back of the lorry went mad!

The bin is put on the lift plate, carried high above the back of the lorry and then tipped over and whacked against a bar. All the waste then drops into the hopper. This time they put it on the hoist, pressed the button for it to be taken up and instead of it going up slowly it went up at high speed and threw the bin straight over the front of the lorry. Scrap one bin and they then had to spend ten minutes clearing up all the green waste that was spread on the road. I lent them my picking up scoops and brought them a cuppa whilst they were doing it. I phoned the boss for a new bin and someone from the contractors brought it in their car three hours later.

 

This is controversial but I'm not keen on things that are too PC.

It is now considered wrong to address a group of people as 'Ladies and Gentlemen'. It is banned in broadcasting, theatre and on public transport announcements. We are now supposed to be gender non-specific.

When I was in Tesco the other evening I couldn't even work out what the symbols on the toilet doors were. So asked one of the staff to explain to me how I was supposed to tell that a particular door was to the men's (not supposed to use that word!) toilet and the answer was "your guess is as good as mine!".

I've just posted a little video on the Brexit thread where it starts off with 'Ladies and Gentlemen'

 

Is that before or after I've been beaten to a pulp by the women in there?

 

And then get beaten to a pulp!

 

I think they now say that there is normally no excuse for not knowing the gender of the person you are writing to but I'll let Andrew answer the questions.

With slight apologies to those of you who may be offended by him

HOW TO ADDRESS A NON SEXIST BUSINESS LETTER
By Andrew Berman

Let us look at the standard opening phrase of a standard business letter:

Dear Sir,
Well, this is clearly sexist as it precludes the possibility that a woman is reading the letter. We can try to fix this, however, by writing:

Dear Sir/Madam,
This was suggested in a recent posting in a few of the gender-issue related news groups. However, someone pointed out that by putting the masculine title before the feminine one, unacceptable dominance was demonstrated, making this non-PC. So, I tried to fix it:

Dear Madam/Sir,
Well, this is no good since we're showing dominance in the other direction. Of course, since Men are Oppressors and Women are Oppressees, that may not be so bad. But it's not really PC, is it? Ok, let's try again:

Dear Sir
Madam,
Well, that solves the problem of who goes first. Of course, the Sir is on top now, which is completely unacceptable. Missionary style het-sexist imagery abounds. Very bad news, probably worse than the original. Ok, what about:

Dear Madam
Sir,
Well, I was once told that men laying on their back during sex was sexist as they were making women do all the work. Besides, you still have one on top of the other showing dominance. We may not sure who's doing what, but somebody is being oppressed here. Next:

Dear MadSiram,
Put the Sir inside the Madam, ok, neither is going first and neither is above the other one. Ok? NO! This is terrible! The Sir has inserted himself inside the Madam! Practically splitting her in two with himself! How pornographic!! A man writing a letter addressed like this to a woman is obviously making an (unwanted) sexual advance. If he were at Antioch college, he'd be suspended for a year and have to go through rehabilitation. Catherine MacKinnon would have a fit!

Dear SMadamir,
Now we put the Madam inside the Sir. Oh, now the Sir has enveloped the Madam! Horrors, she has lost her identity, her sense of self! This is imprisonment! Ugh, how could I have even thought of this one?? I'm so ashamed!

Well, there's only one answer left:

To Whom it May Concern
There. Simple, no reference to sex or sexuality, no problems. Not very friendly, but then again unwanted intimacy is a sin. And getting rid of friendliness is a small price to pay to make sure that absolutely no-one is ever, ever offended.