Pet Grief

How do you deal with it?

Its approaching a month since I lost my dog at a very young age. Sometimes life is okay, other times I forget he’s gone and then it comes crushing down. So much so, here I find myself asking on a forum I’ve only just joined, how do I deal with the pet grief?

I miss him so badly and to some of you, they might only been seen as pets or animals. However this is the first time I’ve ever really lost someone close to me, and being an introverted person, my dog was my best friend.

So yes, as a lot of you on here have twice, maybe three time’s the life experience of me. Any words of knowledge would be greatly received.

Ps please don’t offer your condolences, I don’t mean for this to be a pitty thread, more so a helpful one.

Scott

 

Pps, can a mod adjust the title. Stupid iPad spelt grief wrong.

 

I've lost a few dogs and the best way of moving on is to get another one.
Lost my last one nearly 7 yrs ago and for reasons I wont go into I've not been able to get another one, still miss her.

 

I couldn't get over the loss of my last pet for years. I kept tearing up when I thought of him. I'm actually lucky that it turns out all those cold and sinus issues I used to have, turned out to be allergies so I cannot get another furry friend. It saves me going through the terrible grief again.

I pay for it dearly unless I take antihistimines in advance, but I still like to pet animals when they are near me

 

Hello Scotty2088. I know how you feel! I've just had to have my favourite cat put to sleep. She was only 8. But....the alternative was to let her suffer a painful illness as well as a prolonged course of to-ing and fro-ing to the vet (she hated the car) with injections every two days and no guarantee that she would get better. She had a wonderful life and we were able to say 'goodbye' in her favourite surroundings, without stress. She's buried in the garden with a rose of the same name on her grave. Perhaps all these circumstances combined have made it a bit easier to cope with the grief this time. Above all, it's much, much better for our beloved animals to not have to suffer! That's a 'luxury' that human beings don't have yet, at least in our respective countries.
I wish you lots of strength. Concentrate on what a good life you were able to give your dog and when you feel ready, you'll be able to give another animal a chance of happiness and comfort.

 

We have had cats ... or cats have had us ... for 52 years, so a lot have crossed our paths and lives. We have five buried here in our smallish garden, and one scattered. Various ages the three oldest being 13, 15 and 20 who came from England with us. We currently have two.

I remember them all vividly ... and even talk to their resting places. They will always be in my heart which is full of wonderful memories. You will never forget but remember those memories as they will help you cope in the short term ... the longer term will be easier.

You don't have to watch this ...

Yahoo fait désormais partie de Verizon Media

 

Thank you all for your words of comfort, I take great courage in the fact I am not alone in how I feel. I did watch the video @Victoria. Thank you.

 

You are definitely not alone @Scotty2088. On a personal note, I've lost both a cat and a dog in different, equally devastating ways, and even years later I find the grief can catch you unawares. For different reasons I wasn't with either of them when they passed, which was a real struggle to comprehend as I always I assumed I would at least be there if not performing the procedure myself (I'm a vet).

Professionally, I've lost count of the number of paitents I've either put to sleep or who have died (on a lighter note I hope this is not a reflection of my skills!), and no two owners react quite the same way. Many are shocked by the extent of their own grief, or embarrassed by it, but I always try and reassure them they shouldn't be. I remember one lady, whose dog I had been treating for heart problems, confess to me how guilty she felt about being more upset by the death of the dog than her uncle (the two had died within days of each other). But it made complete sense to me; the uncle, though she was close to him, had not been an intrinsic part of her daily life in anything like the same way as the dog she had lived with day in day out for over a decade.

The Blue Cross have a pet bereavement arm to their charity - www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss - and I've had good reports from clients who have used their service over the years.

 

Thank you for this. May I ask, what vet do you work for?

 

As I'm getting on, I lost very many family, friends and cats, Such a sad time. You are told, time is a good healer, possibly it is, but you still miss them all so much. Please try and focus on the happy times.

 

For the last couple of years I've been a locum - a bit like a supply teacher, so going into lots of different practices and covering for other vets who are on holiday or sick leave etc - working for anywhere that needs me within about an hours drive of Bristol. So I've worked for all sorts, from the little independant set ups through to the franchises like Vets4Pets and the big corporates like IVC and CVS. Before that I worked for a couple of places in Bristol, and for years back when I was a brand new baby vet I was down in Devon. So a bit all over the place!

 

Different people deal with grief in different ways. We lost one of our dogs at 7 years old while we were on holiday. Getting that phone call from the dog walker at the vets and agreeing to the kindest course of action is not easy from another country.

I move on, remember the good times and get another dog. I'm not one for having the ashes back as it would feel like picking a scab (to me).
A friend has the ashes back and constantly brings up the loss of their dogs. They've had a tattoo to remember a dog. This feels like not letting go and beating themselves up to me but they cope in a different way to me.

 

The reason I asked is because my dog was treated by Vale referrals near Bristol and saw your location. They were fantastic in their treatment.