A Joke Or Two 2023/24

This is a free forum, we have a choice to comment or not comment, or to look or not look

 

Let's put it this way. I've accidentally banged my head more times than I can count. It's usually a laughing matter. I've banged my gonads a very small number of times. I didn't laugh.

 

I agree but you don't seem to have understood me. I never said people shouldn't look at the thread. What I said was I thought the 'jokes' were naff and that's why I don't look at them.
You can do what you like, and if you like naff jokes, go ahead and read them.
If there was a proper funny one occasionally I might look in sometimes myself.

 

Mildly amusing is how I would put the majority, the problem with anything funny is that what one person finds amusing another doesn't, and vice versa.

I never watch modern comedians because I think there is more to comedy than strutting around, shouting and coming out with bad language that doesn't enhance the actual joke.

But I see audiences falling around laughing, so obviously its me.

I can still laugh at some of the old comedians, but most of those have now been blacklisted due to the PC brigade.
Comedy is very personal in some ways.

 

Any of the jokes I can remember would immediately terminate my membership if posted or if cleaned up to modern standards would go "Three people walked into a building "

 

I didn't have "The Cup" when i sliped on a 5 bar gate, now i'm a dead 2CV

 

Stupid is how I'd describe them, and childish to. I read back a few and didn't even smile.

Yes, some of the old comedians were funny ... I mean proper funny, not silly. Silly and funny are different things.

I said I would not look in here again. I'm gone now

 

I am not a one liner person as I don't like stand up comedians ... but I love funny cat photos ...

 

A priest and a taxi driver arrived at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter admitted them and showed them to their homes.

For the taxi driver, home was a beautiful villa looking over a gorgeous field of clouds. "Thank you," the grateful taxi driver said, as he left them.

The priest's home was a small one bedroom apartment. "St. Peter, I'm a little puzzled," the priest began. "As a clergyman, I spent decades serving the Lord. How come the taxi driver got a villa, and I got a tiny apartment?"

St. Peter smiled. "When you preached, people slept. When he drove, they prayed."

 

This is SO true!

 

Sir Pious was about to head off for the crusade so fitted his wife with a chastity belt.
Just in case he got killed in battle he gave the key to his best friend, Sir Whumpsalot.

As Sir P reached the edge of his lands, he turned to bid them adieu and spotted a rider at full gallop coming up behind - his best friend.

As Sir Whumpsalot pulled up his horse beside Sir Pious, Sir Pious asked what the matter was.

Sir Whumpsalot gasped out "Wrong key!"