Grinch Corner

It also depends on your sex. At least it did when there were only two I realized quite early on that it mostly meant a lot of hard work for us females to produce a jolly, festive event with all the traditional, expected goodies, presents under the tree, etc etc. I suppose it was all done for lurve but nowadays I'm fortunate enough to have swapped it all for a nice restaurant meal with friends and I wouldn't swap back!
I'm not entirely sure what the male contribution is? The only man I've ever known who worked extremely hard around Christmas was my maternal grandfather who was a butcher. He used to be completely cream-crackered by Christmas day and whimpered when pheasant or turkey was mentioned

 

The first year I met my hub, Dad came for Christmas.
He confidentially whispered, 'this one's a keeper. He's peeled all the veg'!!
He was right. Dear old Dad.

 

You haven't met me !

 

Just keep being yourself @Michael Hewett . It isn't always easy when you don't feel the same as others - about anything, but I find it much easier now because I don't have to do things I dislike, just to suit other people.
My sister doesn't understand that other people don't feel the same way about everything that she does. It can make life difficult at times. Christmas was the be all and end all for her, and she wanted it to be perfect, but when something inevitably happened [every year] it was a huge problem. If she'd simply made it less of a big deal, it would have been easier for everyone - especially herself.

Whatever we do, it should be enjoyable, but I reckon the pressure of it to be perfect in every way is the problem.

 

The trouble is that I'm a chronic introvert, and what 'Christmas' has been made into is for extroverts. Most people seem to be extroverts
I was lucky to meet a fellow introvert who thought the same way as me and we were able to enjoy Christmas together for many many years
I also enjoy rain, and that's something else people don't understand, but I don't care

 

You're correct @Michael Hewett , when you don't happen to fit what's considered to be "the norm" by most people it can be awkward. I've always felt under pressure to fit in and it's not pleasant.
I hate very sunny days, much prefer a slight cloudiness and also like to see the rain as long as it's not causing problems! A good breeze is always welcome too.

 

Another introvert here! I like rain too, particularly in spring and summer when everything is trying to grow.

 

Had to look up the word introvert (i'm a thick git that hates funny words i don't under stand) to see what it meant, i'm one too, hate talking to poeple, hate going out which i don't, which inelude wedding, funerals, parties etc etc a hermet is me, starting to hate moden life and god know what i'm going to be like in a few years time
I used to get pick unpon years ago which don't help
Also because I'm tone deaf i hear words differenly so use words that mean something else when talking sopoeple think i'm werid

 

I'm also an introvert, and always found being at parties impossibly difficult when I was younger. Mind you, I could do with a bit less rain at times ..
It's what gives us our beautiful landscape though, so I'm saying that tongue in cheek.
I love it when we get proper summer rain - especially if there's no wind. Watching it just come straight down, making virtually no sound, is one of life's great joys.
If that's weird - that's fine. Happy to be part of that club

I know what you mean about talking to people too @Jiffy. I have no interest in talking to people when I'm out for a daily walk because I have nothing in common with them, but if I meet someone on a hill it's different, because you immediately have a common interest. That's why I found parties nerve wracking so often - trying to make small talk with people who I had no real connection with. Masking is exhausting.

 

Another introvert here. What a funny lot we are. Do you think that is why we all find gardening to be relaxing? The money plant never asks you to explain what you did with last month’s pay cheque. Solomon’s seal isn’t interested in your religious peculiarities. Growing Lords and Ladies in your garden doesn’t reflect your politics, merely a slightly eccentric taste in plants.

 

Agreed, @Tidemark . Plants are never judgmental... I used to feel guilt and shame at my inablility to socialise (except one to one, with a select few genuine friends), but I've finally come to accept, in my 70s, that trying to pretend to be "like everyone else" makes me unhappy, and doesn't fool anybody. Vive la difference!

 

I go to an art group on a Tuesday afternoon, There are between 6 and 10 people there each week, they chatter and banter and tease each other, but I only tend to talk about what I'm painting, or what they are painting, I ignore the rest of it ... and that's enough of people for me until the next Tuesday afternoon.
I do make tea/coffee for us all occasionally, unless someone else volunteers first

 

@Liriodendron I must disagree about plants not being judgemental. The number that have died on me in the past few years suggest they don't like me.

 

OH and I have had Xmas alone, at home, for most of our married lives. His parents liked to be at home near their daughter and her family and I wasn't about to subject myself to her cooking at Xmas so we used our 5 cats as an excuse not to travel - can't expect the neighbours to feed them over Xmas. BIL and his wife also stayed at home or visited her parents.

My own mother sometimes joined us but usually went away or wanted to be alone. When she did come, she'd have diet fads and "allergies" so we'd have to have lobster so a PITA and pocket. On our own, we'd see friends on Xmas Eve or between Xmas and NY and we quickly learned to avoid all NY parties.

No chance of any family descending when we moved to Belgium and we still had the cats and once Possum came along we made our own family traditions. I love all the indoor lights - plain, non flashing, warm white for us, like candles - and OH loves the tree and outside lights too. Never do tinsel cos of the pets and it's not eco anyway. I have collected decs over the years and made some too. Always red and gold tho I now also do blue and sliver in the kitchen.

We keep our family presents simple these days and don't exchange any with the rest of the family or friends. We all agreed long ago that it was not needed, especially since OH's parents died.

The French, Belgians, Dutch feast on Xmas Eve and flop on Xmas Day but we have our festive meal on Xmas day. We are not religious tho I am interested in ancient practices - Solstice, Eostre, Midsummer and Samhain - which follow the gardening/farming cycles and Possum (not a gardener - yet) has started researching them too, much to OH's bemusement.

That said, I like the music at Xmas and always listen to the carol concerts but we have to remember the words were written by Brits (mostly) living in a different climate, culture and times and that the Catholic church adopted ancient pagan festivities to entice and enforce Christian observation and worship. The 12 days of Christmas come from Celtic traditions celebrating the lenghtening of days after the Solstice. Easter is timed for the Sunday after the first full Spring moon and ties in nicely with pagan Eostre and all its rabbits and eggs.

I do feel sorry for shop staff, especially in SMs, where they're stuck on a cash desk or stacking shelves on a long shift with endless repetitive festive musak for weeks and the mad rush on Xmas and NY Eve tho I never see the kind abuse their British counterparts suffer in some areas.

I don't like all the ads and promotions and urging to spend, spend, spend. I like my Xmas small, cosy and no pressure.