In my next life I want to live backwards.

In my next life I want to live backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out of it for being too healthy, you go to collect your pension and then when you start to work, you get a gold watch and party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy retirement.
You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous and then you are ready for secondary school.
You then go to primary school, you become a kid and you play all day.
You have no responsibilities.
You become a baby and sleep and eat until you are born.
And then you spend your last nine months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then, Voila! You finish off as a twinkle in your father’s eye.
I rest my case.
:D :D :D

 

Great, but you've missed a bit between here....

...and here....

...you missed the bit that says: "Someone holds you upside down by your ankles as you cry your eyes out, as loudly as you can with your weak, tiny lungs, and then they bray your bare butt, before stuffing you forcibly into a a gap that all logic says you can't possibly fit through.

 

...you missed the bit that says: "Someone holds you upside down by your ankles as you cry your eyes out, as loudly as you can with your weak, tiny lungs, and then they bray your bare butt, before stuffing you forcibly into a a gap that all logic says you can't possibly fit through.[/QUOTE]

I think you got it a bit mixed up.
It's usual to be forced through the gap that you identify and the slap on the backside is the reward for being successful