What did Santa bring you?

There exactly three reasons, all of which apply in all cases:

1. Men hate shopping for essentials. If DIY shops sold socks and undies right next to the big power tools, you would never catch us with holes and bust elastic in our underwear, but they don't. Socks and undies are in clothes shops. Not only that, but mens socks and undies are in the menswear section. We try to avoid clothes shops if possible, but when we do get dragged into them, we are forced to spend so much time in the ladieswear section, randomly repeating phrases like "yes, its nice", "it wont make you look fat", "if you like it then just buy it, please, for gods sake", and "Look, I'll give you my wallet, my soul, my life if you'll just choose something and let me out of here" that we don't have time to go to the menswear section.

2. Women can not understand the concept of give and take in a relationship. It's nobody's fault. Its genetic. Blokes are almost entirely superfluous to requirement in nature. Mother nature only gave us one job to do, and to be honest its quite an easy job and its quite rewarding in itself. Women know this, and so don't feel it necessary to reward us further.

3. Women are a little bit deaf. Especially married women. It is a rare kind of deafness that allows them to here consonants perfectly, but they struggle with vowels. Consequently they are convinced that their husbands are regularly asking for more socks.

 

Too much to be honest, from family
Main IPOD NANO that I aint got a clue how to use, until the grandkids set it up for me (all set for my Gym now)
A Garden seat/neeler
Thorn proof gardening gloves
A Dunkers cup ( mug with an additinal half open side at the bottom, that holds three digestive biscuits

So I am all set for my retirement in April,
Music, in my green house, a seat, a mug of tea with biccies, and gloves,
I can lose myself ALL Day

SWHMBO a 3' large Lotus Buddha GARDEN ORNAMENT, a generous Beauty gift voucher (yes she does appreciate the beauty voucher,not an insult, As she enjoys filling in her weeks with visits to the paed/facials, nails etc other wise she does not get out)

Many other lovely gifts from our family

Jack McHammocklashing

 

3 12'' vinyls of The Smiths' singles, 5 different aftershaves, socks, boxers, big bottle of malibu, vinyl cleaning kit, The Office boxset, Nivea set.. hmm

 

My Anne is very thoughtfull and after recently taking on an extra plot at our allotment she bought me a rotovator to help save my back.

Anne got a brilliant present today, a square foot of land in a Scottish Castle, with that plot of land goes a title so she is now Lady Anne...a very fitting title. Most of my replies to her today have been "Yus, ma Lady" or "shall I bring the car round, ma lady".

Merry Christmas everyone!

Steve...

 

I got a new pair of boots, a lovely cross and chain from OH, lots of chocs,new crafting disc for my card making, some money for my hols, and eldest daughter put us all a scratch card in our pressies, never done one in my life, and I won £25 :yess:
OH had a great time playing with his remote control helicopter, boys and their toys , cat wasn't keen though.

 

On the last day of Christmas the family gave to me:-

One House full of family
Two bins of Rubbish
Three crates of Empties
4 Calling Birds (OH + 3)
And a long night cleaning up.

Still, as Slade said:-

"Iiiit's Christmas!"

 

Not wishing to put a dampener on it, but:-

Go and pitch your tent on it. What will be the reaction from the neighbours, me Lud?

 

Nope, but it probably makes me "Your Lairdship"

Steve...

 

Its a square foot of land so would have to be a small tent..

As you go up the scale and so pay more, you get bigger plots, 1 sq foot, 10 sq foot etc,if you opt for 1000 sq foot (30' x 30) in Glencoe then it's reasonably sized to camp on, and they let you do just that whenever you want.

Steve...

 

Now that's just classy!!

Steve...:D

 

socks slippers
shirt
4 bt wine

a sparkly black tie from one of the girls in work I only wear ties at funerals weddings and interviews ??? so what is she thinking ???

bt Champagne
ponsettia and chocolates
Tin shortbread biscuits from Scotland
Dvd's
£££££

What did I buy for myself and spent less on others
Well times are hard and friends are few

Daylily book
New beehive
two Nucleous hives for the spring (long story diffrent forum)
Daylilys (somthing that never ends)
Garden fertiliser / heavy duty fleece / new tree ginko etc etc
501 jeans
new shirt
socks (if I only would of known)
Italian loafers ox blood colour
Aftershave joop







I didnt do to bad :yess: and neither did everyone else !!!!!!!!££$$


Spruce

 

Should come in handy if you ever want to spray the place with new gardeners.