Hmm dim, what you say is very true & my family, kids & grandkids are all well mannered & behave well in public & at home too... That is exactly some of the things that really bug me dim.... It still comes back to NO MANNERS..!!!
I am not surprised really, for one thing my name is not Jennifer........ Does spelling come under manners? particularly when typing on a pc, you can always use a spell checker, or copy / paste into a word processing document to check the spelling. Even fire fox has an add on that checks spelling as you type.
My newish neighbours had their grand children round and were hanging over the fence wanting their 'bullets' back....the same 'bullets' they had been fireing at my chooks...(only little rubber things but don't think my 'girls' were happy about it) i stayed as polite as i could when Mr 'TOLD'me the kids wanted them back.... Also explained that the children had to be carefull not to hurt the chooks or each other.i duely found said 'bullets' and gave them back to the kids,1,2,3,4,5,6,.....they counted them each one...and i inturn said "yes 6 bullets and not one thankyou"....can you believe the neighbours haven't spoken to us since.......
I totally understand where you are coming from there loli. That really isn't on..... Yes I sadly can balieve they are not talking to you now either...!! None the less an excellent example of bad manners & no consideration for others..!! I always drummed that into my kids, you must consider other peoples feelings..!! Seems this world has become very arrogant as well as rude..
on another point ... I have neighbours who are elderly .... they are very well mannered (in public) , and speak very 'posh' ... and are very wealthy but, they have no 'etiquette' .... that is something that you are born with and which cannot be taught ...
Truly don't think people have "bad" manners on purpose. It either comes from examples they have seen as they grew up from their parents. (some don't have parents or good parents) It is a lesson to learn that you catch more flies with honey. Your not born with etiquette, what???? Really, LOL. Yeah right. Etiquette is some far fetched rules that powder puff folks put together with their noses up high. Simply showing care for another human being is needed. No bulling in schools. Teaching wide scope of acceptance of others differences is needed. Frankly if I did something needed for someone else and heard no thank you I would not waste my energy worring about it. But instead know that the behavior or deed I did was a good example/standard. One cannot judge another unless you have walked in their shoes for a mile.
Disagree dim - etiquette is about social behaviour and how you conduct yourself, table manners, etc which is learned. You can't be born knowing which knife and fork to use and not to fart at the dining table
maybe etiquette is the wrong word .... I'm talking about things like giving your seat on the bus or tube to someone who is older or looks sick or stressed or helping someone when they really need help ... Your Mamma, \Pappa and Nanna can teach you to say please and thank you, and teach you how to speak with a posh accent .... but that does not make you a good person with a good heart .... (you are born that way) be as posh as you like .... say please and thank you as many times as you like ... then have a few double vodkas at a party and your true colours will shine (if that makes sense?)
Couldn't you teach your chickens to fire back, Loli? My sis moved recently and the neighbours couldn't wait to tell her all about her overhanging trees which had obviously been a bone of contention for years. My sister said, yes, go ahead - hack the trees to bits if it makes you feel better. Having cleared a space and removed all last vestiges of privacy, the neighbours set up a large trampoline right near the boundary of the two gardens. The next day when my sis was outside weeding she was surprised by several heads bobbing above the fence shouting: 'Morning! Morning! How are you?'. Well at least they're polite about it, I suppose.
Sorry Claralou - that put shivers down my back. I am getting older,grumpier and pretty intolerant and that scenario spooks me no end. I value my own space and privacy very very much,
Dim, simply put, I believe what your saying is to empathy for others. But that takes a person who can "see" beyond their own selfish needs. And I do not think your born with a good heart or a bad heart, it is a collection of cognitive examples that have been absorbed as you grow. Example: I usually tell men who have small daughters, it is how you treat your wife and and your daughter respectfully and special that will give your daughter cues who she will date or not date when an adult. What someone is "used" to having around they view it as their NORMAL. It takes some soul searching to reach out and observe the other "norms" and to realize that your known "norm" may not be the best practice. The daughter with out knowing it will gravitate toward the person who projects her "norm" . But to have that awakening that there is a better practice is also a feat. They have to first accept that their "norm" may not be the "only" way. Some go a whole life time believing that is correct only their way, no one elses.
