Slugs, neighbours pets, neighbours

Can this year get any worse I wonder.

We've all been inundated with slugs and snails because of the wet weather. Then in addition to that, our back garden has had a few visits from a neighbour's dog recently. Then today, 3 cheeky kids turned up in my back garden while we were out there, and asked if they could take a short cut across our garden. I was fuming, but after grilling them calmly to try to ascertain their intent, I let them on this occasion, because I figured if I made a fuss, they'd just see me as someone to wind up, and in any case, I can't guard the garden 24/7.

There is no public access to anywhere behind my house. It backs onto the church grounds, and beyond that, its more back gardens. The only way from the front of my property to the back, except through the house, is through a very narrow cut between the side of my house and the church's massive steel fence. So this evening, I've built a wooden frame covered in chicken wire, and secured it to the side of my house, so that its extra difficult to get past. Longer term, I'm just going to fill the cut with planters containing the nastiest, sharpest, spikiest plants I can think of. Wild roses spring to mind.

 

Mate of mine has a nice looking palm of some sort. The "fingers" of each leaf end in a point, but it looks like something that you would want to stroke - boy! is that a bad idea! they are as sharp as needles.

I can find out the name if you like?

 

Yes please. I'm always open to ideas.

 

Trithrinax Campestris - innocent looking points on the end of the spears are actually deadly sharp!

 

Hi, poor clueless, looks like you urgently need some sunshine!!

 

Nothing gets through blackthorn!

 

and Berberis Thunbergii

 

Rosa Rugosa

Good for wildlife as well as feral kids!!

Spruce

 

NATURE'S 30 cheeky kid PREVENTING PLANTS

Creeping Juniper - Juniperis horizontalis 'Wiltonii' - Also known as 'Blue Rug', has a thorny stem and foliage.

Blue spruce has dense, spiky needles
Blue Spruce - Picea pungens 'Globosa' - Rigid branches, irregular dense blue, spiky needles.
Common Holly - Ilex agulfolium - Large evergreen shrub, dark green spiked leaves.
Giant Rhubarb - Gunnera manicata - Giant rhubarb-like leaves on erect stems, abrasive foliage. Can grow up to 2.5m high.
Golden Bamboo - Phyllostachys aurea- Very graceful, forming thick clumps of up to 3.5m high. Less invasive than other bamboos.
Chinese Jujube - Zizyphus sativa - Medium sized tree with very spiny pendulous branches.
Firethorn - Pyracantha 'Orange Glow' - Flowers white in June, with bright orange-red berries. Thorny stem.
Shrub Rose - Rosa 'Frau Dagmar Hastrup' - Excellent ground cover, pale pink flowers, very thorny stem. May to September.

Firethorn, or pyracantha, is a tough, very spiky ornamental evergreen shrub that has creamy-white flowers in spring
Pencil Christmas Tree - Picea abias 'Cupressina' - Medium-sized tree of columnar habit, with ascending spiky branches.
Juniper - Juniperus x media 'Old Gold' - Evergreen. Golden-tipped foliage. Prickly foliage.
Purple Berberis - Berberis thunbergil 'Atropurpurea'- Has a thorny stem.
Mountain Pine - Pinus mugo 'Mughus'- Is a very hardy, large shrub or small tree, with long sharp needles.
Blue Pine - Picea pungens 'Hoopsii'- Small to medium-sized tree, spiky needled stem, densely conical habit, with vividly glaucous blue leaves. Likes moist, rich soil.
Oleaster - Elaeagnus angustifolia - Small deciduous tree, about 4.5 to 6 m (15 to 20 feet) that is hardy, wind resistant, tolerant of poor, dry sites, and thus useful in windbreak hedges.

Blackthorn, or Prunus spinosa, is a native deciduous plant which makes a dense hedge with thick, long thorns
Blackthorn - Prunus spinosa - Also called Sloe; spiny shrub. Its dense growth makes it suitable for hedges.
Fuschia-flowered Gooseberry - Ribes speciosum - Fruit bush, spiny, produces greenish to greenish-pink flowers in clusters of two or three.
The following thorny plants can also be considered: Aralia, Chaenomeles, Colletia, Crataegus (including hawthorn/may), Hippophae (sea buckthorn), Maclura, Mahonia, Oplopanax, Osmanthus, Poncirus, Rhamnus, Rosa (climbing & shrub roses), Rubus (bramble), Smilax Prickly ash (Zanthoxylum).

(Curtesy Tom Gardner, Daily Mail, Feb 2010)

 

In my experience, the ranking should be thusly:

1. Wild roses. These are pure evil. Razor sharp hooked thorns that you barely feel going in, but when you move away, they hook in deeper and try to peel your skin off. Very painful.

2. Blackthorn. 2 inch long thorns with razor sharp tips that easily break off under the skin. They usually feature a fungi that is a particularly good allergen that causes localised swelling, but can also cause a much more dangerous reaction (both my dad and I have had this reaction, which features uncontrollable shivers, head ache, spasms, and abdominal pain). You can get blackthorned many times with no reaction, and then one time you get the reaction. When it happened to me, it was 2 days before I got to see the GP and I was fine by then. Based on my description of what happened he ran a full set of blood tests. The results showed nothing untoward, but that my histamine level and white blood cells were through the roof, which he said were a sure sign that my body was waging a fierce war with some unknown pathogen, or that I'd had a severe allergic reaction.

3. Gorse. Sharp and nasty, but mostly harmless (unless you're daft enough to eat it). The needs break off under the skin if you don't pull them exactly straight out. Trouble is, gorse is extremely flammable. Not a good choice of shrub near the house.

 

Agree with the first two. There's something very nasty about roses: the way their branches stick out at unpredictable hights gets me every time. The only other consideration perhaps, is beauty, which is where rambler roses score. I think Blackthorn can look very drab and depressing in the winter which is why evergreens are good. You can push through holly. I'd like to get some firethorn because I understand you can grow it from cuttings, it looks good all year and copes with shade near the house.

 

True I guess, but Blackthorn has a very interesting growth habit in that it hates straight lines. It decides, why grow a relatively straight branch when a gnarly twisty one will do?

Once established, blackthorn will spend all winter covered in glossy blue sloe berries which give a bit of winter colour, until the birds have them away.

Blackthorn is one of the earliest flowering shrubs/trees, often being completely smothered in lovely delicate white flowers from as early as march.

The wood of blackthorn becomes brittle and mouldy, giving it an aged/haggered look, but the young growth is actually quite pretty, with glossy deep red/purple bark. Regularly hair cuts maintain this lush growth.

Incidentally, there is loads of folklore associated with Blackthorn. The Morrigan retreats into a Blackthorn tree when overthrown at the end of winter. Also, she is said to cast the land into winter by banging the ground with a staff of Blackthorn. Blackthorn is also sometimes, in folklore, referred to 'mother of the woods'. This is because of a most interesting growth habit. From the parent tree, it sends out runners in all directions, and always to roughly the same length. The result is that a thicket grows in an almost perfect circle. Too dense for most grazing animals to get through, the interior of the circle is the perfect place for young trees of other species to get a chance to establish themselves without being grazed. Over many decades they grow bigger that the Blackthorn, which has served its purpose by now, and cast it into shade causing it to suffer and die, so that in effect, the Blackthorn is like like a mother expending everything she has to ensure that her offspring have a chance of standing up for themselves. All folklore of course, but I find it fascinating. I was lucky enough to find a well established Blackthorn 'womb' once on my neighbour's land. It was quite magical really. I found a way in, and there in the middle of this dense, gnarly thicket was a small clearing totally enclosed by the Blackthorn, and one very tired looking small Blackthorn tree right in the centre of the circle. It must have been maybe 100 year old plus. Then a few days later I bumped into the game keeper who happened to mention that he was clearing a way through the neighbour's woods. It was wrecked a few days later:(

 

There's a blackthorn avenue near us, which towers over the little road. I need some cuttings for hedges and yes, the youthful twigs are a nice colour and so are the berries. And yes, it's got some nice white blossom. But the blossom is brief and you have to be quite close to notice the purple twigs and berries. And it don't half look scraggy!

That's interesting. I'll have a go at getting inside one of them to see if there's a magic middle. It reminds me of the oak woods on Dartmoor - if you like otherworldly places. There are a few which are the last remaining reminants of the southern English forest. The part I went in, the oaks were crammed together, none more than about 12 foot high because of the wind and shallow soil, all shadowed, knarled and twisting around the rocks.


I took my then girlfriend there with romantic thoughts in mind but she didn't like it there at all and insisted on leaving after two minutes!

 

Its funny how a bloke's idea of what's romantic often differs from the ideas of the lady.