The Confessions Thread

awwwwwww go on, Jenny, I'm dying to know what you did!

 

Ran out of Vino . Wasn't enough....

 

Okay, so you frightened the chickens........how?

 

Oh, before anyone confesses to Murder or Treason, i'd be obliged to report that one.

 

So, are you all sitting comfortably? Switch off NOW if you are of nervous disposition. I wasn't a particularly nice child, a bit of loner that liked to observe animals and insects and their habits.
I did bad things - like pulling legs off craneflies and marvelling at their ability to keep jerking even though they had been wrenched from their owner. I roasted ants by focusing a magnifying glass on them through the rays of the sun. I would trap a bluebottle in a jam jar and let it free - straight into the largest web I could find and gaze in wonder at a magnificent garden spider who would rush out from behind a leaf and wrap this huge, buzzing monster into a shroud of gossamer. I still marvel at this sight even now.
But, dear reader, this is not the essence of my confession, wicked though these acts were. The other thing that I did with my bestsest friend, who lived next door involved our 2 pet chickens who faithfully laid an egg apiece each day. They were Rhode Island Reds and were very tame. They were allowed out of their pen and would eagerly run down the path to the back door to receive treats.
Oh dear, I'm not sure you will want me to go on, dear reader. But I will as I've poured myself a LARGE glass of red Dutch courage....
Well, one morning Sonia and I decided to liven the ritual up a bit. We put a stick into the ground either side of the path and we tied a length of fine cotton across the path at chicken leg height. She went to let them out as I stood by the back door tapping their bowl as normal. They would tear down the path like bats out of hell.It was always a neck and neck finish. But not that morning. As they tumbled rump over beak, letting out the loudest cackles we had ever heard, their cries were only exceeded by the noise of 2 young girls shreiking with laughter. They came to no harm and other than not laying their customary eggs the next day, they went on to live to a ripe old age.
I have not recalled any of this for years: ZIGGY'S fault for starting this thread. I feel it fruitless to even consider that GC members' might forgive me. Especially Loli whom I have grown quite fond of. And what is even worse, I feel good about having "confessed".And even worse that THAT, I can't help giggling after all this time as I go down that wicked memory lane,
Jenny namaste

 

OMG thats so funny!

 

Oh those poor peckers..........!

 

Then that's you and me in the dock RandyRos. No quarter given in this thread I fear....
Jenny namaste

 

You can PM me ,in my private confessional chamber Mr Shiney,
I'm the absolute soul of disgression,

 

You can't be tried twice for the same offence, so no

 

May the lord forgive you Jenny Namasteshould our paths ever cross...in the physical sense...you aint coming anywhere near my 'lasses'...

 

Sounds like you grew up reading the wrong comics Jenny. Sorry, we can't forgive that one. I wondered where i'd seen you before, were you the role model for Dynah Mite from the Dandy?

 

Jenny