That kid who's ran off with her teacher.

I don't know if things have changed since I was at school, but I don't remember it being like that. Most of the girls I knew found most of the male teachers to be creeps. Often unfairly I think because with the exception of one, they were just doing their jobs.

There was one lass at my school, who happened to be a very close friend of mine (and I was deeply in love with her and I don't think she knew but that's another story altogether). She confided in my parents that one of the male teachers was flirting with her, and she didn't know what to do. She said she'd thought she must have been imagining it until he started trying to give her presents of boxes of chocolates. She refused it all and was quite upset about it all, thinking that maybe she'd done something wrong.

 

"To Sir, with love" (circa, 1960's)

You make a valid point (and, equally, that the point works both ways is not isolated to a girl/man relationship).

However, as this particular instance has gone far beyond the "crush" stage, I feel the media attention is a "kite flying" exercise.

The responses here range from the: "It is love", to the "it is just downright wrong!"; it also ranges from the "she" should get a spanking to the "he" is beyond words.

Initially, there would appear to be a "preditory" element to it all; however, as time passes, speculation grows wider and deeper; from the downright disgusted to the cynical, to the broader minder and thus, to the romantic.

The bottom line of the headline is: shock, horror, danger alert!

The reality (as it stands!) is, that this is not a cause for concern for safety; but, two people on the run - whatever their motives/emotions.

The reality is: this is *not* a one-sided scenario. Both have their perspectives; both have their own "justification" for what is now a media circus. The truth will out in the end.

If the media set this up as a concern for welfare in the initial stages, it is one that appears to have backfired, primarily because there is a "history" attached to the scenario - one I do not believe leaves the family unit without a degree of questioning. A young girl, secure in her world, does not leave the family home for an infatuation, crush or even "true love". This girl does not project as one who was a girl "secure in her world".

Likewise, this "man" does not appear to be a logical thinking person; but, one based on impulse and opportunity.

However, both of these views are merely that: view points.

The truth will out; in the end

 

Good words Mum. My concern at the moment is for their welfare. If they are hiding somewhere I just hope that they have food and drink and can keep warm. I feel they must be afraid,
Jenny

 

I do jenny..well not him! id hope his conscious is crucifting him but i know its not as he cant be bothered to let her family know shes alive and well.. it takes i call or text to put them out of their torment,he obviously had a plan and knew going to france was a good option legally but if he hasnt saved up for this plan then where are they? camping in his car(might explain not seeing any tv footage at all even thou prob not priority in france)im sure his wife would of noticed vast amounts of money dissapearing?? soz jen ive babbled too much on the quote its for the thread not just a quote on which you said xx

 

His conscience could well be eating at him; who are we to know? Only he knows that; on a practical level, he cannot contact her family (or his own) because he surely knows that the fall out will be focused on him, not her, nor "them", and any "contact" is easily tracable. Equally, the same argument applies to her: *she* has not contacted *her* family to reassure them that she is safe and well (two sides to every story ) Make no mistake, the "law" will fall heavily on him and she will always be viewed as a "victim". Despite any controversy to that thinking.

As for the monetary side of things, think "gap year". There does exist the potential for them (either of them) to earn enough to keep body and soul together; yet, that is not what this thread is ultimately about.

Let us not demonise someone based on our own prejudices; let them tell their own story, in their own time. We only have the media angle and ... that does not always equate to "the truth"!

 

I heard something similar on the news shiney and i was disgusted and i reckon they dont investigate if a 16yr(and younger) girl is complaining of advances of teachers!

 

Who are *they*???? Where is your research/proof? You cannot make such sweeping statements, joolz.

Any person who makes an accusation of inappropriate behaviour *is* investigated! Even in this particular case, investigations were ongoing regarding their relationship.

 

Sorry mum i cant actually state victims but just watch the news ... it isnt me making the accusations,im in derbyshire so my news and interviews source may be differant from yours i certainly not sweeping

 

the Teacher is a man of 30 years of age and i believe the news stated that he was being investigated in connection of his relationship with the young Girl since she was 14
this is an exert of a piece of txt on a survivors web site about the six stages of Grooming please take the time to read then consider


The Six Stages of Grooming

Grooming is the process by which an offender draws a victim into a sexual relationship and maintains that relationship in secrecy. The shrouding of the relationship is an essential feature of grooming. Forensic psychiatrist Dr. Michael Welner explains the six stages that can lead up to sexual molestation.
The grooming sex offender works to separate the victim from peers, typically by engendering in the child a sense that they are special to the child and giving a kind of love to the child that the child needs.
Different law enforcement officers and academics have proposed models of the “stages” of grooming. Since there are a variety of these models, it’s best to think of the grooming by sex offenders as a gradual, calculated process that ensnares children into a world in which they are ultimately a willing part of the sex abuse.
Stage 1: Targeting the victim

The offender targets a victim by sizing up the child’s vulnerability, emotional neediness, isolation and lower self-confidence. Children with less parental oversight are more desirable prey.
Stage 2: Gaining the victim’s trust

The sex offender gains trust by watching and gathering information about the child, getting to know his needs and how to fill them. In this regard, sex offenders mix effortlessly with responsible caretakers because they generate warm and calibrated attention. Only more awkward and overly personal attention, or a gooey intrusiveness, provokes the suspicion of parents. Otherwise, a more suave sex offender is better disciplined for how to push and poke, without revealing themselves, they will often take many months so not to raise suspicion. Think of the grooming sex offender on the prowl as akin to a spy and just as stealthy.
Stage 3: Filling a need

Once the sex offender begins to fill the child’s needs, that adult may assume noticeably more importance in the child’s life and may become idealized. Gifts, extra attention, affection may distinguish one adult in particular and should raise concern and greater vigilance to be accountable for that adult.
Stage 4: Isolating the child

The grooming sex offender uses the developing special relationship with the child to create situations in which they are alone together. This isolation further reinforces a special connection. Babysitting, tutoring, coaching and special trips all enable this isolation.
A special relationship can be even more reinforced when an offender cultivates a sense in the child that he is loved or appreciated in a way that others, not even parents, provide. Parents may unwittingly feed into this through their own appreciation for the unique relationship.
Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship

At a stage of sufficient emotional dependence and trust, the offender progressively sexualizes the relationship. Desensitisation occurs through talking, pictures, even creating situations (like going swimming) in which both offender and victim are naked. At that point, the adult exploits a child’s natural curiosity, using feelings of stimulation to advance the sexuality of the relationship.
When teaching a child, the grooming sex offender has the opportunity to shape the child’s sexual preferences and can manipulate what a child finds exciting and extend the relationship in this way. The child comes to see himself as a more sexual being and to define the relationship with the offender in more sexual and special terms.
Stage 6: Maintaining control

Once the sex abuse is occurring, offenders commonly use secrecy and blame to maintain the child’s continued participation and silence, particularly because the sexual activity may cause the child to withdraw from the relationship.
Children in these entangled relationships, and at this point they are entangled, confront threats to blame them, to end the relationship and to end the emotional and material needs they associate with the relationship, whether it be the dirt bikes the child gets to ride, the coaching one receives, special outings or other gifts. The child may feel that the loss of the relationship and the consequences of exposing it will humiliate and render them even more unwanted.


he was 29 and she was 14, it has been said that she is in love .......

Hmm i thought i loved my abuser and I believed he loved me

 

No it is not a one sided scenario, only he is morally and legally WRONG

It is easy for an older male, with money and grooming a child to bed her
Wether or not there are family problems, even easier for a teacher who is in constant contact that is why the law was changed for teachers and under 18's

Yes two people aged 16 yrs can and do marry and have children, but NOT with their TEACHER
He has abused his position, and the fact that she is only 15, he was with her from her being 14 is illegal and morally wrong
Love has nothing to do with it legally

Lets face it if there were no morals and a milllionaire lottery winner so wished he could take any ten year old he wanted If his morals were that low
as per MICHAEL JACKSON ALLEGEDLY

The guy is an idiot, he only had to wait four months and it would not be a problem to anyone other than her parents Oh and his wife, Whom I hope has cancelled the insurance on the car :-)

Jack McH

 

May I just say, Kaz, while I do not diminish, in any way, shape or form, what you have pasted, I re-iterate my earlier hypothesis:

By that, it highlights your "Step 1"; emotional neediness.

However, thought must be taken into consideration of a "man's view" of the female form; indeed, a reknown member - very recently - extolled the virtue of the sight of the (younger) female form and the pleasure it gave him to observe it (I hasten to add, the male in question was merely "appreciating" the view and had no sinister, sexual or other alteria motive other than "appreciation" of!!!) Sometimes, the identification of the "neediness", coupled with a physical attraction, can lead to huge mistakes of judgement!

And that is my whole point: do not judge the man until (and unless!) he gives his reasons for what has transpired. He may well be a perv (easy to label; more difficult to judge); or, he may well be out of his depth and not know which way to turn or the best? He may even (deludedly) believe he is *saving* her from whatever ills she has complained about (which may, or may not be justified - we don't KNOW).

And, that is the bottom line in all this: we do not KNOW (for sure) the motivations behind all of this. The real question is: is it any of our business???

 

Clearly not, once the law was altered to 18yr of age.

 

Good for you Joolz. You should write to her parents and to the parents of the 40% of girls who have sex before they're 16 and tell them where they went wrong.

 

They've been found. Apparently safe and well.

 

here is the article:
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/missing-megan-stammers-found-france-115729245.html