OLD SAYINGS.

we got in a close call in the car once with my Dad and he came out with "well, THAT'LL make your butt chew gum. "
He also said "Yank my doodle it's a dandy."
I get my warped sense of humor from him.

 

"You'll have had your tea then".
When unwelcome visitors arrive just before tea time.

"She's a face like a well skelpt (smacked) ars."
She is a rather unattractive lady.

"I could eat a scabby heided bairn"
I am rather hungry and could eat a small child suffering from head lice.

 

Didn't know you'd met Chopper too.

 

Got me on a roll now, they're coming back.

"Ba's up on the slates" also "Ba's burst"
Our plans are scuppered.

"She'd a face like a hen laying razors"
She didn't look very happy.

"Ah pit her gas at a peep"
My reply left her nonplussed.

"He's mair degrees than a thermometer"
He's been to university and is very well qualified.

"She awfy pan loaf"
She's posh.
(There are/were two main forms of bread "plain" and "pan". Plain bread had crust all around while Pan loaves were only baked with the crust on top.)

 

If wishes were horses beggers would ride.

 

"I would rather disembowel myself with a rusty six inch nail".

"I would rather pick my own eyeballs out with a sharpened stick".

Both of the above, as is probably obvious, means you really don't want to do whatever has been suggested.

 

My mate came out with a great one earlier as he ran past me and I tried to stop him to talk.

" not now Rusty I've got a brown headed tortoise checking the weather'

Bet you can't guess where he was off too in a hurry?????


Rusty

 

One my mother used ,
I've swapped a pig for a duck !
Meaning your choice has made the situation worse.
Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs !
A north of England saying , I don't have a clue what it means !

 

I think it means you are UNDERwhelmed

 

Pigs mite fly

To tell a porky

 

Underwhelmed surprise??

 

Daisees is always saying that in the office, we don't have a clue what she's on about either, especially as the office is a bungalow.