Old friends

One of my new years resolutions was to try harder to rekindle old friendships. Friendships that sort of fizzled out after I moved away for a long time.

Its progressing slowly but steadily. Of course everyone has built their own lives now so even though we haven't fallen out, other priorities get in the way sometimes. Its just the way it is I reckon.

One particular mate has been having a bit of a rough time for the last few years really. In fact truth be told, he's had more bad luck than good for probably 15 years or more, so although we've kept in touch, he's had his own priorities so to speak, so we've not really been in contact that much. I've been trying to change this. Until recently, the last time I saw him in person was at his mother's funeral. There's been the usual empty promises of meeting up for beer etc, so recently I took a different, high risk approach.

He has two passions. Cars and electronics. So, having a slight technical problem with my car, I decided to contact him to ask him to help me fix it. I thought this was very risky. No contact for months, then I contact him for a favour. He's been round our house twice since, the second time (today) turning up totally unexpected.

Its a funny old world. There was a lass I was very close to (not romantically, like brother and sister) when we were teenagers. We grew up, she got married, I settled down too. It's not socially right for a lass to be close to another lad when she's married, or vice versa, so we drifted apart. She works in the local shop and since moving back its gone from polite formalities when we see each other to her and my missus being quite pally, and she and I can chat and laugh together in the shop.

All this is of course not relevant to very much, so I bet you wonder why I'm posting this. Just because there's not that much going on at the moment really. I think its quite a nice tale of old friendships rekindled. Maybe it might inspire one person to pick up the phone to an old friend they haven't spoken to in months or years. Maybe it wont. Who knows.

 

I count amongst my friends, some people I was at school or Uni with, or who I worked with in the dim and distant past, who I see regularly and with whom I've never lost touch, but I've never tried to rekindle friendships which fizzled out along the way, they were frequently 'of their time' and both parties have moved on since then.

That said, I have been contacted by people - in a moment of pure madness, I once went to a school reunion! - I've attended retirement 'dos' where 20 years on, those (still alive) from an old team, stood around making desultory conversation and looking at their watches wondering how soon they could legitimately leave, and in another instance, a 'phone call from out of the blue left me wondering why, after all this time, this person suddenly wondered if I was still alive and decided to get in touch, when they could have written or 'phoned at any point in the interim.

I hope it works out for you clueless1, but personally, I've found that when all you have in common with someone are shared experiences from several years ago, (since when both parties have led completely divergent lives), it's very difficult to pick up a dormant friendship and move on with it.

 

I've got very few friends from way back that i've got anything in common with now, an old school friend recently found me on facebook, but we don't interact much, not really got anything to say after the initial catch up.

Saying that, my old fishing buddy just phoned to say he's coming down next week.

One exception is my cousin, we got back in touch and we chat regularly now.

 

Hence the saying "Ships that pass in the night"

Val

 

I am in regular annual touch with girls who were in my class at school. One or two who I had a crush on - funny isn't it? When you had a crush on someone at school- they seemed to be tons more special , different and more interesting than you were.
I was as clumsy as anrhino but always wished I could skate like Norma or dance like Judy. I met Judy at last year's do - she ended up bringing her 5 boys to manhood on her own. A tiny little lass but obviously with a very strong and determined character. I believe she used to drink rather heavily but who wouldn't with challenges like that. She rolls her own - is a bit "hippy" and she still fascinates me....
Jenny

 

http://www.forcesreunited.org.uk/reunions/2/raf

 

Ah, forgot you were Black Ops

 

Then ... start one?

 

Yes, I have 'old friends' ... those who are old and those I have known for a long time. The friend I have known the longest is in Tennessee and we met in September 1963 in college and still keep in touch ... they were here in Portugal four years ago!

I have other friends I have know for between 20-30 years and they come and visit here almost yearly and even moreso ... we don't go back to the UK!

I would not contemplate contacting someone I have not heard from/seen in donkey's years ... as they are obviously not with me.

 

A strange thing happened to me yesterday, at doggy school and I thought of this thread.

There is a guy there who's been on site maybe twice before. He approached me yesterday, asking what my first name was because he thought he knew me; once I told him my first name, he immediately said my maiden name!

I was spooked mainly because there was something about this guy that had been niggling away at the back of my mind since I first met him.

Then he told me his full name We grew up together His mother and my mother were best friends and lived opposite one another and all of us kids played together on the green. Haven't seen him for many, many years - and the last time I did, he was a chubby thing (and I don't recall him being tall either ) but now he's tall and slim.

There we 28 houses in our avenue and we were still able to remember (between us) who had lived where, who moved out/in while we were growing up; the games we played, the shared memories.

He's seen some of those 'children' since, all grown up (obviously) and it was really interesting to hear what they were doing with their lives now too (I'm still the only one between us all, that we know of, with a degree though ).

There was one neighbour who terrified us all - we'd draw lots to see who drew the short straw to ask if his son and daughter were coming out to play! - Turns out, in later life he developed dementia; instead of being the talk of the street for his abrupt nature, in later life he became a figure of amusement because he kept putting a dog lead on his wheelie bin and trying to take it for a walk! Hard image to reconcile when I think of how terrified we all were of him.

I didn't go looking for a figure from the past, but, sometimes, life throws them before you anyway