How would this make you feel?

Very tricky, Clue, if you've already had issues about photos on Facebook, and "had the conversation" with the problem not being sorted out it is hard to know where to go next, except for banning photography of your family altogether.

Would it help if you composed a calm email, something to the effect of not wanting to cause upset within the family but you must firmly insist that no photos are taken or used except with direct permission? You could give reasons, mentioning that your wife's feelings, perhaps, and then mail it to the family in general.

Emails may be a bad idea as they may be viewed as impersonal but it saves face-to-face confrontation and allows you to state your case calmly and with well-chosen words. It depends on your family culture as to whether they would be offended by such an email.

Failing that, try contacting FB.

 

I think it was very inappropriate to do this without your permission. Yet another one of the reasons I don't use social media. I think far too many people are sharing far too much information about themselves but when that extends other people who didn't ask for their info/photos to be shared, it's quite worrying.

I've heard of so many problems and trouble being caused by fb because people post offensive comments before thinking and hitting submit, because they somehow feel that sitting behind a computer screen gives them immunity to spout constant drivel.

How can it be called social media when the pure act of making relationships on a computer is anything but social? When I go out with friends and half of them are sat around glued to their phones, it's hardly sociable.

I went out with a friend a few months ago and he spent all the time we were out on FB on his mobile replying to other people. It was highly rude. After about an hour and a half of him being antisocial I made an excuse to leave as I was getting fed up of being ignored because he wouldn't come off Facebook.

 

We had the pleasure of looking after our 5 yr old niece for the day a couple of months ago. Obligatory trip to the park and ice-cream. We took some lovely photos and videos of her at play. Some photo's were so lovely and cute I asked her Mum for permission to put them on FB for other members of the family to see. She was grateful that I had asked and said it would be fine, but she would like to see which ones, I duly obliged by showing the 2 we thought would be best. She was happy to let me publish them.

Now the reason she was happy is that she knows in the publication of these pics you can set who has permission to see them. Obv they would be set so only those in the 'Family' group could access them.

Social Media can be used the correct way if one takes the time to do it properly.

Defo, though in the OP, the lady in question is well out of order, and if she had any sense of loyalty to the family, she would respect the wishes of said family.

 

There's the problem. The two bits I've put in bold are the two bits most lacking from her character.

 

That is a shame, perhaps, as has been suggested, you politely say NO MORE, it is difficult I know, as your wife is her sister, but you have to stand up and be counted. Sometimes , things go beyond the norm, and we have to apply a different set of rules, whilst staying within the bounds we set ourselves. Try and gain support from other members of the family and exert some peer pressure, Finally as has been said BAN.

 

That can't be done unfortunately. My son loves his autie, he is close to his cousin too. Also, for reasons beyond my comprehension, despite being 'too busy' for everyone, she is the popular one within wife's side of the family.

If it was entirely up to me I'd say stuff the lot of them, but its not up to me.

 

Here's an article I bookmarked a couple of years ago: 10 Reasons To Delete Your Facebook Account (#3 links to how to delete your account for those who may be interested).

 

I mostly keep my Bookface account just so I can keep an eye on what others are posting, because I don't trust everybody I know. A few times I've had a go at friends and family for spreading malicious gossip. The classic example being the old "pass this photo of this dog theif/drug dealer/child molester/wife beater around to all your friends ....". People usually do share such things on without question. They never stop to wonder if any of it might be a lie. Maybe some poor lad dumped his possessive girlfriend so she decides to spread rumours about him out of spite, or maybe someone with a sick sense of humour just thought it would be a laugh. Maybe it is true, and the person who's photo is being passed all over the web is actually a bad'un. Is it not then for the courts to decide? And in any case, what if some militant thugs happen to spot someone in the pub who happens to look a bit like the person in the photo, so gets a good kicking for nowt.

That's why I keep my Bookface account, so I can spot dodgy posts going around my mates and family and try to inject a bit of common sense from time to time.

 

I thought of that. I never comment on such posts directly. That would be the same as sharing them on. I see them, and I have a go independently of Bookface at the people I've seen sharing it.

Facebook is the least of our worries with being profiled or cyberstalked. we're all in a gazillion databases, many of which are accessible to anyone for free or sometimes a token charge. If you have an iPhone or Android phone your location is being tracked wherever you take it.

 

Its why I only post utter sh... rubbish on Bookface. I was a Spaniard for a while as I tried to trick the profiling engine It didn't work, but in a previous effort I did briefly start receiving German adverts