For Sale

I don't nag! I do all those jobs myself or they'd never get done!

 

Don't tell him Sheal

 

You married an alien Clueless?

 

Yes. I didn't like any of the earth girls, except loads of them, but they didn't like me back.

 

Well this explains why you don't understand what women mean. 'Alien' is a whole different language.

 

I don't think she speaks Alien. She learned English on the 21 year journey from her home world by intercepting our TV and radio signals. The trouble is the signal was weak by the time it reached her craft, and when you're travelling faster than light the signals all get mashed up together, so she's learned words that are English but no concept of how to string them together into any logical meaning.

For example, if she wants me to buy a particular item while I'm at the shop, she will say something like 'Do you think we need more milk?', to which I will reply 'I don't know, I can't see it from here, you're at home, how much have we got?', to which she will reply 'well I only bought some yesterday'. Some deciphering effort later will usually establish the meaning, which will translate to 'yes', but sometimes it is even more cryptic. For example, she might say something like 'the kids are asleep in bed, shall we spend some time together', which confuses the heck of me because we already are spending time together

 

Why do men query things you say which are pretty clear .
eg, me" The hot water heater is not working no hot water"
him "What you mean the hot water is not working"

 

What do you mean why do men query things?

 

I think they're secretly politicians Pam.... they seem to answer a question with a question....

 

Do we?

 

This very rarely happens with me because I do the fixing anyway.

 

That's because when a woman asks a question, she typically fails completely to provide any info about the context of the situation, so we have to go into analyst mode in order to laboriously extract the information we need.

For example, a common question I get asked is "have we got any money?". To which, if I'm feeling facetious, I will reply simply 'yes', because there's usually at least 1 pence somewhere in the house, but more often than not I will need to start working on extracting the exact meaning of her question by asking my own questions like 'how much do you need? what do you want it for? when do you need it? etc.

 

Love it @clueless1 ...if that isn't a typical Male answer i don't know what is...

Surely we shouldn't need to " completely provide any info about the context of the situation" because you chaps ALWAYS know the answer...atleast we make you believe you do