Your most embarrassing moment??

Sooooo, I am just wondering what your most embarrassing moment was?
I was recently in Asda, chatting to a lovely lady on the checkout, and getting on really well. I saw her a few weeks on the trot, so the next time I dressed up a bit, and made myself look a little respectable
Sure enough, she was there Great!
The thing is.....I had been drinking coke (a rare event), and was feeling a bit gaseous
I felt ok though, I knew I could hold out.
I went to the checkout, spoke to her and all was going great, and we were laughing away...until.....I sneezed. What happens when we sneeze?? Our muscles relax. OMG!!!
Her mouth dropped, her eyes went big, and sparkly. Almost like some mystical bewilderment as if to say 'Did that just really happen???'
What could I do except be thankful nobody was on the checkout behind me so I had to just carry on as if nothing happened
I haven't seen her since

 

If I told of mine, i'd get thrown off staff

 

I have a similar one, but dating back to when I was a teenager.

There was a lass I fancied like mad, and I actually got on with her as she was a friend of a friend, so I was, in my mind at least, already half way there. Except she was a cut above the rest, and a little bit out of my league, so I needed some dutch courage before I could ask her out.

I had a tipple or two, or three. The plan was to drink just enough to give me the bravado needed to ask her out. Except I was a teenager, and teenagers don't know their limits.

Some hours passed, and I decided it was time. So, I went to her house, knocked on the front door, and waited. A light came on, the door opened, and this is when I fell for her, literally. Face first. She obviously saw me coming and stepped to the side, so in what seemed like slow motion I cruised past her. I broke my fall with my face. Fortunately her mam had splashed out on a nice deep pile carpet for the hallway, which meant that rather than anything breaking, my face was evenly distributed so the worst of the resulting bruising was to my ego.

Somehow, even in my drunken state, I was still sober enough to fully comprehend the implications of what had happened. I simply got up, didn't bother to say anything, as there was nothing I could say that would make the situation any better, and I walked away.

 

Ha ha i have learnt that sometimes it's better to walk away anyway

 

I think my first post just tops this one.
I will keep it brief so as not to get in trouble with admin
I parked up down a dead end with a passenger. Within about 2 minutes, I was aware of a light shining into the car. I wound the window down and I was asked if we would both get out of the car. My passenger was taken to one side, whilst he asked her if she was drunk (jeez, thanks!!), and if she knew what she was doing etc. I was told to go and speak to his colleague driving the car.
I walked along the passenger side of their car, and stuck my head through the passenger side window to talk to the copper driver. I didn't know he had wound the blooming window up though, so I ended up head butting it

 

This thread reads like the script of an episode of the "Inbetweeners".

 

I pride myself on staying young in mind and spirit

 

That's the spirit, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

I once parked Gothilda in a space that technically she should never have fitted in. It took me literally half an hour of literally inching back and forth before I finally freed the old girl, and I had an audience by then.

 

It wasn't you that came to rewire a socket in my kitchen was it?
He didn't realise there were 2 circuits (one for appliances I think). There was a really loud bang as he went 'live' lol.

 

@NorthantsGeezer

If you want some good "pick up lines" and tactics, have a look at this old movie.
Very funny parts but quite naughty.

 

Ha ha. Looks funny. Not easy to watch on this tablet though. Saw a few bits
I have the best chat up line.......nice shoes Gets em every time

 

@NorthantsGeezer
Must remember the shoe one, thanks.