Computer scam - be aware.

I deal with these things a bit differently. Depending on my mood when I answer the phone they get a different sort of reception.

This is one of my conversations with them. I have plenty more and have posted them on here in the past.

“Hello”

“We have a report that you have a virus on your computer.”

“Oh, dear! I wondered what the cause was. Can you help me?”

Ahh, you’ve already noticed that you have a virus. Don’t worry we can solve the problem quite easily.”

“Wonderful!! When will you come round and what are you going to do?”

“We don’t need to come round. We can do everything from here.”

“Fantastic! It’s wonderful what modern science can do. How long does it take to work?”

“Not long. You just have to download some software that we can send to you.”

“Brilliant! Is this on the National Health? Because I’m a poor old pensioner and can’t afford anything.”

“There’s only a small charge but it solves all your problems.”

“Wow! Can it solve my other problems as well?”

“What are these other problems?”

“Well, my biggest problem is my back, up to now.”

“That’s OK, we have some other software to sort out back-up problems.”

“Great! Well, tell me what to do.”

“I’ll tell you what to type into your computer and it will show you on the screen what problems you’ve got.”

“Amazing! Will it tell me how I got this virus?”

“It’ll show you lots of things that are wrong but we can solve them all.”

“I always thought that you couldn’t sort out ‘Man-flu’ and that it just had to run its natural course.”

“Sorry, I don’t understand!”

“Well, I’m surprised that you can sort out my virus through the computer, but I suppose you don’t want to catch it yourself. Where did you get your medical training?”

Puzzled voice. “I don’t have any medical training but I’m highly trained in IT.”

“Oh, if you’re trained in ‘it’ I suppose you’re OK. Do I have to take any pills because I have trouble swallowing?”

Pause. “I’m not sure I understand!”

“Well, if you don’t understand then I don’t want any medical help from you!” And I slammed the phone down.