Care Homes

Mr Kandy has gone back to work today even though he is still suffering from man flu and then to top it all his sister rang him at 4pm to say that their dad has been taken to hospital (he is 94 years and 11 months old).He managed to contact his son in law to say he wasn't well but couldn't explain what was wrong so my brother in law contacted Mr Kandys sister so they raced over to his house to find him on the kitchen floor trying to get his trousers on and pull up his braces.

Anyway,they called for an ambulance and as soon as the paramedics came and took one look at him they said he was hyperthermic,so they bundled him into the ambulance and he is now in hospital where they will warm him up and also get some fluids in him as he is also dehydrated,so
as Shiney says the dehydration had made him confused.His oxygen levels are not too bad but his blood pressure is a bit low.

It is all a worry as he lives on his own and isn't keen on leaving his own home and he won't have the heating on because he says it is too expensive so sits in the kitchen all day long with one of those heaters that has the large bottles in the back of them.He refuses to have any heating at all in his bedroom so when he manages to get upstairs to bed he sleeps in a freezing cold room which for a man of his age is a bit crazy but you can't tell him.

At the moment we can't go and visit as we are both trying to get over these colds(me)man flu(Mr Kandy) and we don't want to pass anything on to him in his fragile state so can't go racing off to the hospital as we will infect everyone because at the moment we can't seem to shake off this bug whatever it is

I have decided that when I get to the stage where I start to lose control of my bodily functions then that is the time I do something about it.

 

oh dear. Again, so sad to read of this Kandy. The time around Christmas seems especially fraught with the old 'uns going downhill. Very worrying but I hope this episode helps him to understand that he needs special care now,
he is in my thoughts...
Jenny

 

Hi Jenny,he has been having episodes of falling on the floor in the kitchen when he has tried to get up so now he wears shoes instead of slippers and Mr Kandys sister has got him carver chair sorted and a Zimmer frame to get from one room to another.One of those personal alarms has also been sorted so that if he had a fall then he would just need to press a button but that is still being sorted out and he hasn't got it yet.

It is difficult at the moment for us as Mr Kandy works full time so can't just fly off over to his dad's when he has problems.

Mr Kandys sister has just textd to say Hopsital done xray on his hip as he was complaining of a pain in it,and the xray was ok,his temperature is slowly going up,blood tests are good but kidney function a bit down due to dehydration so he is now on a drip.A bed has been found for him and when the nurse told him he was staying in overnight his face went down and his bottom lip came out like he was going to cry.But really he is in the best place for the time being.

 

Winter is the hardest season of all for many elderly people. A good reminder that we should all be keeping an especially keen eye on those elderly people we know, or live near to. Be it their physical health, mental health or simply, their emotional well being. Winter can be quite a lonely place if no one takes any notice or simply can't read the clues.

@strongylodon - come the New Year you should have a much clearer view of her mental and emotional state: be it dementia, dehydration or simply disorientation. She is going through huge changes and may simply be having an internal battle between what she "wants" to happen vs what *is* happening and that can lead to much confusion (and a degree of distress). You know you are going everything you can for all the right reasons - it's admirable! - too many families back away and for a huge variety of reasons. Come the New Year you will have a clearer picture of the situation: as will she!

 

I hope we will 'M' the more 'muddled' she feels the more she may accept where she is.

I have to take my Mum for a hospital appointment tomorrow down at Wellington, past Taunton and she is not good on her legs. It's a good job that I don't work now as all these journeys would be taken as holiday, although Mrs Strongy (TA) doesn't have a sympathetic Head Teacher and is made to feel guilty taking time off.

 

Then, perhaps, Mrs Strongy should (casually) leave a research paper on the staff room table referring to "The Sandwich Generation"
It's not new; it's not "fashionable"; it's fact! And her HT should never be making her feel guilty when she is trapped in a well recognised scenario/dilemma which is haunting and tearing apart people in our modern society!
(Sorry, it is a subject I do feel passionate about )

Good luck with your Mum's appointment tomorrow; I hope it has a positive outcome. Tell Mrs Strongy to look up the Sandwich Generation and I really hope that will add a string to her bow and make her feel less guilty about any time off she needs to take

 

Wasn't entirely sure where to post the following but my Dad died on January 20th , it was a very,very sad loss to me & my brothers. But in other ways guess it was a relief to know he wasn't suffering any more .

 

Re. the post above - sorry to read that Gogs. I hope you are receiving the help you need in coming to terms with grieving.
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The care home where my mum resides is a really good place (the staff genuinely care and are attentive) and she has settled in there (almost a year now).

We did our homework re. ensuring we chose a good place. She is 94 and has had 2 strokes, a heart attack (for which she has a stent), survived pneumonia ( 2 years ago) and, more recently, a hip replacement (pinned bones). She has vascular dementia but is not paralysed. Before the last fall (where she broke her hip bone) she was able to use a zimmerframe.

What I resent is that she wouldn't have had the 1st stroke had she been taken off of viox earlier - an anti-flammatory painkiller that was taken off of the market in America, due to its link with strokes!

I lived with her for 2 years before her first fall (she could then no longer walk unaided or use the stairs - effectively would be imprisoned in her lounge). She is a sweet woman and rarely complains (only when in pain).

 

@Gogs. Thinking of you and sending love and light your way x

 

Sorry to hear your sad news @Gogs, you and your family will be in my thoughts. X

 

I'm sorry to hear to you've lost your dad Gogs. Memories of him will give you comfort as time goes on.

 

Hiya @Gogs

So sorry to hear this. A very difficult time. It does get easier, but the memory remains.

 

Sorry to hear about your dad Gogs. My thoughts are with you.