Post mans been - no Valentines Cards......

Discussion in 'Pets Corner' started by LyndaG, Feb 14, 2015.

  1. LyndaG

    LyndaG Super Gardener

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    Yep, now I've read your reasons, I can see where you're coming from, number 2 makes a lot of sense. I do have to admit to being a "pink" girlie though and (at the risk of ostracising myself here!) I am very old fashioned in my girls jobs/blokes jobs attitude. The kitchen (pink, coincidentally) is mine. I will run about and make you coffee and sandwiches, wash your clothes, do all the housework, make your work packed lunches etc etc. but mend a toilet? Build a flat pack? Sorry, not my domain, that's bloke stuff. And don't even start me on girls riding motorbikes 2 up with a male pillion. That should 100% be TOTALLY illegal and anybody caught doing this (male or female) should be imprisoned for life and tortured :wallbanging:
     
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    • Sheal

      Sheal Total Gardener

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      Is this okay then Lynda.....my son and younger daughter! :biggrin:
      183.JPG
       
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      • Val..

        Val.. Confessed snail lover

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        Lynda you think exactly the same as I do, I hate seeing women play football, cricket and snooker, even worse is women boxing!!!! I like women to be proud to be feminine, we are totally on the same wavelength, nice to meet you Lynda!!!:)
         
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        • shiney

          shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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          Getting back to Valentine cards :)

          I used to have a lot of girls working for me and most of them received Valentine cards at work (usually from customers but a lot weren't signed, so that's an assumption). The girls that didn't receive cards were, pretty obviously, upset that the others received them and they didn't.

          So I always sent them anonymous cards each year. :blue thumb:

          One of my managers guessed that I might have done it and asked me about it, when we were out to lunch together, and said that she thought it was a very nice and thoughtful thing to do. It certainly had a good effect on the recipients. :)
           
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          • Dips

            Dips Total Gardener

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            As i dont understand the appeal of motorbikes or know anything about that I have no idea what you said about that lol

            Yeh basically im totally the opposite I don't think any job/colour/hobby etc should be given gender roles. I dont believe having boobs and a vagina should define what i do in life or what i should be interested in and i dont think having a penis and balls should define what a guy should do or be interested in either. I really love it when someone surprises you. So gender based stuff is really ingrained into society so its really easy to be surprised (really we shouldnt be but thats how our society still is) when a big butch hairy bloke may be into embroidery or something but i do love that. I think how we look shouldnt determine what we do and i hate the notions of masculine and feminine because i think they are a bit rubbish to be honest.

            oh and i really cant stand things like a guy should open a door for a women. Thats a big no! A person should open a door for a person because its the polite thing to do not because one is a man and the other is a women. If a guy wants to hold a door open for me he better also hold doors open for men too because that person is a polite person. if they just hold doors open for women i dont think that is very polite.

            but thats just me but then again i do love rugby, football, call of duty etc and flat pack furniture is amazing to build i enjoy it a lot

            I should also point out that i also love that people have different options and no women should feel bad for wanting to do what are classed as female roles or wear female colours etc as if thats what you like thats what you like and that is fine :-)

            But thats even worse shiney if the card isn't signed

            what is the point? i genuinely don't see the point.

            If i got a card that wasn't signed i would just stick it straight into the recycling.

            this also might stem from the fact that i don't see the point in birthday cards/christmas cards/ any card etc I personally think they are a waste of money because they just end up in the bin.

            I do now send cards but only to my sickie mates or mates that i can see because i cant travel because i'm sick. if you see people i don't see the point of cards but thats a different thing all together.

            I would make an exception on valentines card if it was someone i knew well and they were talking the piss.

            for example if i received a card with these pictures on I would find it hilarious but only if me and them were cool obviously and it was meant as a joke and not creepy

            [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

            [​IMG]
             
          • LyndaG

            LyndaG Super Gardener

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            Hi @Sheal, this pic is not ok, this pic is FABULOUS :hapfeet:and look at that beautiful Ducati, heaven on wheels - I do know the worry of having biker children though, my son had a bike for a while but is in a car now (thank god!) but there is nothing like two wheels on the open road, the camaraderie, the rallies, the Saturday meets for breakfast, the Hastings May Day run etc etc ad infinitum, lol x x x :spam:
            And nice to meet you Val x x oh yes, women boxing, I literally can't even look at that. I think men and women are different and we should celebrate our diversity as we are both good at very different things - equal, but different. To a certain degree, with feminism etc I think we have deenmasculated men (if there is such a word) poor sods don't even know if they should hold a door open any more - are they gonna be thanked or told off. Things were simpler in the 50's lol x
             
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            • LyndaG

              LyndaG Super Gardener

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              Hi @Dips, yeah, I can see where you're coming from, as we both agree, we have different ways and I think that's ok too. It's a very long and boring story, but I had to "man up" for want of better wording or over 20 years. And I mean REALLY man up. And just having a female role now is just lovely. However, I'm not saying women have a lesser role, I wouldn't tolerate that, just a different role, that's all. Oh and I get the door thing, most definitely. Hope you have a lovely day PS I think it's difficult to explain the bike thing, you're either into it or you're not - I was born into a biking family, married a despatch rider, hung out in bikers bars and cafés etc, it's sort of in the blood in an odd kind of way (just ask @Sheals kids, lol x x )
               
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              • Dips

                Dips Total Gardener

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                yeh i wouldn't bother explaining the bike thing lol

                I think my views come from the fact I don't want kids and I have never wanted kids and i have felt like this since i was a child and i mean from the age of 5. Therefore typically male and female roles are defined around the fact that women can get pregnant and give birth and men cant and since I don't want that therefore i don't get the whole gender based stuff i guess.

                I also don't really get the point of having kids in this day and age. obviously i understand the point of having kids is to continue the human race but there are loads of people doing it and its not a necessity. I don't understand the desire or want of having children or to be pregnant. I cant think of anything worse than having something growing inside of you and feeding off you that you then have to push out. My biggest fear in life is giving birth to a baby after having no idea i was pregnant. I genuinely don't know what i would do with it. (btw my views are not to diminish those who do want kids or have kids. My hat goes off to you its a hard job. Its just a job i never want)

                On the other hand if i was a bloke i would prob be more open to having children lol

                One thing i do hate tho is if a bloke says he doesn't want children and never wants to get married no one questions it. As a women the minute you say you don't want to get married and you never want children people will respond with "oh you just haven't met the right person"

                Drives me insane!
                 
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                • wiseowl

                  wiseowl Friendly Admin Staff Member

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                  Oh dear its all to much for yours truly,I am wondering now what does a gentleman do these days,I still open doors and give up my seat to a lady,yes and wear my heart on my sleeve;)

                  I am feeling quite inadequate now and surplus to @Dips requirements :whistle:

                  Dips you obviously haven't met the right person yet:sofa::lunapic 130165696578242 5: only joking my friend:smile:
                   
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                  • shiney

                    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                    I accept that you have your own opinion of things but I judge each situation as it occurs. It has been pretty obvious to me that the girls that didn't receive any cards were upset that they didn't get any whilst others did. Even an anonymous card (which is something that occurred a lot in my younger days :old:) was taken as a compliment and showed that someone was interested.

                    Even if it didn't lead to anything further it made the person feel better.

                    I, also, have to agree with Woo. :blue thumb: I open doors for women, give up my seat for them and let them go ahead of me in a queue. I certainly open doors for men as well but there is a difference. If a man is at the door when I'm there I shall open it but if I see a woman approaching a door I will wait for her to get there and open it.

                    I have had situations where I have obviously offended a woman by opening a door for her. One woman had a go at me for doing so and said that she was perfectly able to open the door herself. I replied that I didn't doubt it but that I would have opened it for anyone and that there is no excuse for being impolite.

                    When at dinner I still stand up when a lady gets up to leave the table!

                    None of this means that I think women are not able to do things, or shouldn't do certain things. It means that I was brought up in an era where being polite was an intrinsic part of my upbringing and being impolite or aggressive is just not done.
                     
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                    • Dips

                      Dips Total Gardener

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                      i suppose shiney as a girl who wouldn't get upset if i didn't receive a card thats why i don't get it. Im also not particularly keen on compliments i find them awkward too. I don't need either to feel good about myself or validate myself if that makes sense. The odd genuine surprise low key out of the blue compliment is lovely tho. Im not like anti compliments just they tend to have the opposite effect of making me feel self conscious and awkward.

                      I don't agree with women having a go at men for opening doors. I think that is rude and disgusting because your assuming the reasons of that person opening the door and don't know if that person opens the door for everyone.

                      I open doors for everyone if someone is walking towards one i will open it and let them go through because it is good manners and its the right thing to do

                      I would find it extremely awkward and cringe worthy personally if a guy stood up when i left the table. That would make me feel very self conscious and would be a big turn off to be honest.

                      I am completely for politeness and manners and being kind and being respectful but I don't feel men should feel they have to do these things because they are a man and the other person is a women

                      does that make sense?

                      Oh on giving up the seat think i would be massively grateful to anyone who did because i am a sickie. when i was healthy tho if a guy offered i would say no thats fine you sit im fine standing. I would never want to put someone else out just based on what sex i am. that guy deserves the seat as much as me. Now im sick tho i tend to need them so if you can stand and are ok standing then i will happily take it lol
                       
                    • wiseowl

                      wiseowl Friendly Admin Staff Member

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                      Good afternoon Dips my friend,I actually enjoy being a gentleman and I like being chivalrous, courteous and honourable and I treat both genders the same,my Grandfather and my Father were Gentlemen and yes when we go out for a meal I still gently pull the chair from the table for Mrs Woo to sit down on,it has been said that I am like a certain toilet roll"Softness in my strength":lunapic 130165696578242 5:
                       
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                      • miraflores

                        miraflores Total Gardener

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                        I have two things in common with dips:smile:: I am not over keen on compliments and enjoy crochet...
                         
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                        • Dips

                          Dips Total Gardener

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                          lol haha love that!

                          If you like doing it and treat both genders the same then its all good and its lovely

                          I guess i don't like a fuss being made and I don't like attention on me so i tend to not want it but i would never tell a bloke who just likes being polite and nice and enjoys being polite and nice to stop because that would be very selfish of me and why should they just because i'm not keen on it.
                           
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                          • shiney

                            shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                            I wouldn't expect it to be a turn on (particularly at my age :old: :heehee:). I guess it would now be considered a 'generation thing'!



                            As Woo said, it's all part of being courteous (I think chivalry has almost been dropped from the English language). When I was on holiday, on a coach trip, I stood at the bottom of the steps and offered my hand to anyone who felt they might require it (this was about two or three times a day) and the offer was accepted by just one man but by all the women!

                            Pulling out chairs from the table is an automatic reaction. :blue thumb: When we were at the evening dinner buffets at the hotels I wouldn't even think about going in front of Mrs Shiney. I would hand her a plate and step aside.

                            @wiseowl Do you think we're a dying breed? :heehee:

                            On a slightly different line, I gently admonish people who are impolite to people who's job it is to serve them - such as waiters/waitresses.
                             
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