Basic etiquette am I right or wrong

I would have thought that all these thing would have be 'forgiveable' if he was your brother (in any case I suspect that you would have sorted this out by now if he was your brother). Brother in law is an entirely different matter.

I think it's for your missus to raise these issues with him - as a blood relative he is more likely to accept what she says.

I've lived alone and some of my 'older' friends are now widowed - I know how important it is to have relatives/friends when you are not married - give he some lee way if you can - don't ban him from visiting for example.

 

I have to disagree about the "forgiveable" statement. Yes, if it was @Jack McHammocklashing 's brother he would have set him straight and quickly and not tolerate bad behaviour but the problem here is that his wife sees nothing wrong with this behaviour.

I have many friends who are elderly, alone and polite. There is no excuse for this behaviour and since it is condoned, escaping may be the only means of coping.

Does my crystal ball see a cot at the @Jack McHammocklashing allotment during future holidays?

 

Leave him in there ... on his OWN!!! He behaves badly enough when Jack and Mrs J are there to watch over him

 

ah, yes, forgot to say, don't forget to lock the door on your way out...

 

How glad I am that we don't visit and don't have many visitors either. Family live too far away to come often and when they do they follow SWIAR's rules. If not she puts on her Infant teacher face and everyone freezes inside.

 

since you are over 60 and this attitude is aggravating you, something definitely has to be done as it is causing stress and stress causes health issues. You have to find a tactic that works with him. For example leave no beer in the fridge and find an excuse why you didn't buy it. Do you have to take him on holiday?

 

Sorry, but the lack of access to childhood home is the single most lame excuse I've ever heard.

I haven't had access to my childhood home since we got repossessed when I was 13, and then my parents divorced and I went with my dad to a series of proper budget rented digs. Yet somehow when I visit either of my sisters houses, I somehow manage to abide by their very reasonable and quite normal rules.

I have a brother in law that occasionally is contemptuous. I've told him in no uncertain terms what will happen if he upsets my wife (his sister) or kids again. He hadn't been to our house since, and yet we all get on now.

 

Buy one these for £2 from The Works and send him one for every single item of damage, consumption, replacements, cleaning, etc., necessitated by his visits, tell him he must pay what's due together with a £X,00 deposit before he returns, and provide him with some rules of acceptable conduct to be signed and returned before his next visit.

 

Thank you everyone, I feel better with it off my chest, along with the suggestions you gave

Regards Jack

 

Sometimes, that's enough in itself. I'm glad you are feeling a little better for it, Jack

 

I feel for your BIL, cheshire cheese with white wine, a terrible selection indeed,poor chap.

 

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