You know you're an obsessive gardener when... 2016

Despite already having 21 giant marrow plants, when offered some more giant marrow seeds immediately accept and sow them, worrying about where to plant them all later (each plant requires approx. 3 x 5m), and ignoring the fact I could have a 1,000+ lbs marrow crop (and I've also got a couple of dozen Courgettes and a few few standard size bush Marrows).

 

When you have over 200 chillies ripening over 6 Apache plants, along with 50 jalepeno chillies on 6 other plants, but are still disappointed that your 6 ream plants only have 5-6 chillies between them. (And I won't even mention the Fuego, cayenne, and patio sizzle plants....)

 

Whatever are you going to do with 1000 lbs of them???!!!

 

When you wake up at 3 am and go to check if it's frosty, so that you can cover your cacti in the cold frame with fleece

 

When you are still gardening after dark even though you can no longer actually see

 

When you are at work & you have to leave 15mins early to get to the garden centre before it closes!

 

When you get up at 4.30 a.m. to see if the flower on your cactus has opened

 

You start dreaming about garden designs and rose beds. Wish my mind would shut down sometimes.

 

You plant 23 giant marrow plants (in pits of manure/compost/fertilizer mix), then make a plan of where they're all located in case the labels go awol, and give every plant a unique reference number.

Then spend every day carefully burying the stems of main vines and secondary vines (to get additional roots/growth) and watering/applying fertilizer to both.

Spending each evening checking for male/female flowers about to open and bagging them up, opening the following morning and pollinating, then tying up flowers to prevent further pollination.

Recording the Female x Male of each cross against both the variety and individual plants, including diagrams showing each location.

Amending records for failed pollinations and culled successful duplications, together with additional open pollinated fruits allowed to develop just for a short time for use as 'large courgettes'

Assessing each successfully pollinated marrow for signs of potential size/seed production and deciding which marrows stand a chance of winning a show for heaviest marrow, or are best left for seed production.

Then measuring the length and girth of the most promising marrows every day to assess which will have the most potential for the show you're entering, concentrating watering and feeding on just a few marrow plants.

 

When you go to an antiques flea market and hope there might be a stall selling plants,
and when you discover there isn't one there you decide to call in Wyevale on the way home

 

When you go into a DIY shed and always go straight to the plant clearance section instead of going to the power tool/lawnmower section like all the other " normal " guys.

 

And then sneak your purchases into the garden when your spouse is distracted

 

Yes! I bought a selection of shrubs as presents for friends, of course my genorisity needed rewarding so the DA rose 'summer song' fell into my trolley.
Had to sneak it out back before he got home from work.

 

I hope you snapped off a few twigs first for propagation purposes before presenting your gifts. Our gifts to friends mysteriously have the odd branch missing for this reason.