Power of Attorney to do or not to do?

Over here in the USA there are 3 animals in this subject area. The first is called POA, and it simply means someone is assigned to step up and make medical decisions when someone cannot. This can just be done between people, and does not involve a lawyer. The second one is called Durable POA, what that means is someone is assigned to step up to make medical decisions AND financial decisions when a person cannot do this. This one has to have a lawyer involved and a notary, it is several pages long. The person it covers has to be mentally sound to sign it. Then there is the third animal, called guardianship, this is when the person to be helped has become or is so mentally profound poor that psychiatrist has to deem them incompetent that it takes a court order to obtain.

There is also another one called an Advance Directive, where the person themselves just completes a standard form, of his/her medical wishes should they wind up in dire physical need.

In general, when I discuss the first two to families, I tell them, that it is papers that should sit on the shelf, get dusty, and not be taken down by the assigned person until it is necessary. Some people, I fear, who are the assigned folks may get their ego going before its time.

Also, not sure how, your governments look at payments toward a nursing home situation, but in some cases children do change titles of homes of their parents so to protect the house from being sold .

 

My husband was appointed for both of his parents, by his parents to be the executor of their trust and support their wishes medically. He is one of 4 siblings. Parents are now gone. The last being his father. There is a rift between him and his sister, which I understand she will not move on from, thus no interaction from her will ever be anymore. And because I am his wife I am clumped into that behavior. Knowing all his siblings, I can see how my husband was the reasonable selection for the parents. He really did a good job. It is a shame his work was not appreciated by his siblings. There is a lot to do to tie up someones life, taxes, selling house, cleaning out stuff etc. He says it was 8 years of his life. Which is true, as his dad was in and out of hospital, nursing home, etc.

 

It is hard to do that here also, has to be done timely, so that the switch does not seem like its planned. When I was the Marketing Director/Admission Director in a local nursing home. I would get some really wealthy folks to admit. One of them, owed tons of acres in an upscale county area. The rules then was 3 years to pay privately then the assets are clear. What the kids did was move the titles of the acres to their name and pay the 3 years private. All of this was done with a lawyer however. Since then, the government is looking back 5 years now for title transfers. I recall another story, of a grandmother, she was already admitted under private pay. But she would help pay for the books for college for her grandson. The government got wind of that and put that against her.
However, I have interacted with some sons, who try to hide stuff, and unfortunately my government source was good she would find it.

 

Another problem to your NOK is if you give them your home, then they have to change their current mortgage to a second home, so the interest goes up etc
I must admit, I trust trust trust my two daughters very much so passed my home to them, with a lawyers note that I could live in it to the end of my days
IF you have the slightest doubt, then within a week you could be homeless and your house sold under you
If your child has ten kids to different dads and on partner number 12 then it would not be a good idea
Scotland has different laws, for the good, a close person to us did this, and then the youngest daughter died, her partner began to sue for his half of the remaining property, He did not succeed

 

I don't know what is going to become of us,as we have no children(not through choice) and although I have older siblings none of them are interested in us as we haven't got children/grandchildren to talk about with them so we have been forgotten about as I think some of them are pretty worried that they might have to arrange a funeral for me and possibly clear out a house and they have enough on their plates what with running around after their married kids and grandchildren without me adding to their stressful lives

We have been discussing leaving everything to charity possibly the RNLI,Mountain Rescue etc,and Mr Kandy is finally coming round to the idea of getting a will
done but as usual he talks about it but that is as far as it goes.

Mr Kandys sister can't be trusted as she will come into our house and will take everything she can get her hands on although she will maintain that she has taken items to look after them.

It is such a predicament I really don't know how we can resolve it and I feel that time is running out as we are no longer spring chickens

 

If you have no one to leave things too and your will is that you have left every thing to OH and same for your OH you may need too make sure that there is a 3rd person in both wills ie charity because if anything happens to you both at the same time your Estate will go to the next of kin

 

OK we are going ahead it seems the right thing to do.
It's handy that I have a friend/solicitor who's garden I look after so the cost will be minimal.
Thanks for all the input.