Oh, boy!

Sheal, you must!!!!! You need to go!!! Life will always carry on! Go see your baba! Don't think , just do it!!! Go get a ticket,

 

Aww, @Loki, so sorry you are in distress, but understand completely. What a shock. You are a really great mum - it's very clear from how you talk about your children. Of course you want so much for your son, but there's been great advice on here. On the plus side your son will still be so young when his family have grown, and can achieve any dreams he has then. I have just been thrown a huge curveball in my life which has certainly put things in perspective for me. Loved ones are so important, and my sister, with whom I have had a distant relationship in adult life has really stepped up for me. Soon there will be another beloved little member of your family, your son is fit and well, and life in hindsight will work itself out. You so obviously love your family and this completely understandable trauma will pass.

@Sheal, my heart breaks for your sadness. I hope you can overcome the obstacles and see your son. @Loki, I hope you find peace soon. Xxx

 

If you look at the positive, at 16 he is doing what he is doing legally

Looking at the positive: how wonderful that they will be born close in age! Less expense for one, plus, they should bond really well.

Of course! They have clearly had good parents themselves

The same way parents have since time began: you take each day as it comes; you give support where you can (emotional, physical and, if it is possible, a little on the financial) but you take a step back because they are making their own choices. Of course these are not the choices you would make for them ... but you have the luxury of life experience, maturity and a been-there-done-that T-shirt to prove it. They have not.

There is an old saying: "Give your children two lasting things: one is roots the other is wings"

Now, if you try and clip those wings when they try spreading them, you risk pushing them away. You may not have wanted this for him, but I'm going to gamble on the reality that you really do not wish to push him away either

Remember: your son will never truly understand how you are feeling - he can't! Firstly, he's not a woman but secondly, his own children are not old enough But, the day may well come when he *does* have a truer inkling of how you are feeling - as a parent - and he will draw upon *your* reaction as to how *he* should behave/react: or not! Remember, how you choose to react (and it really is a choice!) will have lasting consequences through the generations.

Personally (and I accept I am not in your shoes) I would be focussing on a healthy pregnancy, a lasting family unit and a healthy baby at the end of it. Yes, we do lose our sons to their partners/wives, but we *gain* new babies to love, cherish, cuddle and mentor. Our children are only ever on loan to us until the day they reach the point where they choose to be adults.

PS: Of course you are worried! Its natural. Once the shock is over, you will know what to do and you will do it well

 

Wow! Such a response to a late night ( upset) rant! You lot really are worth your weight in gold!!!
I thank you for every comment and word of advice, I'll take them, every one!!!! Lots of sense spoken on this brilliant place!!
I'm in a better place, thankfully, and I've got much more confidence to deal with this, and thanks to you, I'll teach my son how to be a good parent, hes already amazing, he just needs a tweak when it comes to finances come on, like I said he's sixteen

 

Being a young grandmother is wonderful. Helping with babies is so much easier when one is younger. And then as you age, it all becomes more fun because they are less physically needy.

Been there. My son was 18 when his first was born and the mother deserted them both when my beautiful granddaughter was only 3 months old. And we have a special bond. I'll never regret a moment. I helped raise my granddaughter for her first few years to enable my son to establish himself. You too can take pride in helping your son and gain a great relationship with your grandchildren. Nothing beats that early bonding.

You don't have to pass down family traditions through a generation and have it misinterpreted. You can influence and guide directly! And all this while you are still youthful and able to relish. This is a gift. Well, really a surprise package however you sound like someone with the capacity to roll with it.

My grandchildren are from 25 years old down to 7. I have 9 of them. And I only have two sons. And we're not even Catholic

 

Me and my wife had kids early in live my wife was just 17 when we had our first and I was 18 nearly 19, money was tight at times but we got through the bad times and four years later we had another,

Oldest daughter moved on about 12 yeas ago and youngest daughter moved on around 10 years ago,

My wife in her late 30s and me just turned 40 was kid free, so really to me its swings and roundabouts,

Personally I have no complaints, don't think i would be wanting to be bringing kids up in my 50s, and nice to be youngish grandparents of three and one on the way.