Tweaks, you say that you have no one to share your troubles with as you did with your dad. If you believe as I do that their spirit lives on and he is still with you in spirit then you can and as I do still talk to him, still ask him those things you want advice on and I know you may find it hard to believe but in fact his answers will come to you. Somehow or other you will know that is what he is telling you to do in such circumstances. I know it will never fill the void that he has left behind but hopefully, like me, you will gain some comfort from believing in the living spirit. God Bless.
Well your right in a way Moyra...I do still talk to him in that way. But I do miss giving him a kiss and a cuddle. Some men might find that strange, but all the blokes in our family hug and kiss each other when we meet or leave. :thumb: One day, whilst in the pub waiting for my son to finish his drum lessons, three of my male cousins came in...hadn't seen them for a while...and they are all big lads yea. So we greeted in the normal way for our family....should have seen the looks from the blokes in the pub...but fortunately they didn't pass any derogatory comments....fortunate for them I mean. Heh,heh.
Because my dad died after suffering a lot of pain, I cannot wish him alive and still suffering but I do draw comfort from believing that he is now free from all that pain and with the son I lost and other family and friends gone on before. There are many that will tell me I am nuts to believe such bunkum but I do believe and it helps me to not be afraid of death and to carry on until such a time as I believe I will join them, so why should I not believe if it gives me comfort?
Tweaks, that is lovely that you are a tactile family and it shows just how close you all are......... I suspect that instead of ridiculing onlookers would actually be envious of such a close family/friendly unit.
Its weird in a way....my Dad fortunately just collapsed and died on the way back from shopping, full blown Cardiac Arrest. He would have made a lousy patient. Night before, he was still blowing his sax, teaching youngsters at the local church hall which he had organized as a rehearsal place. The last person to see him alive was one of his students who met him 15 mins before outside the local supermarket. I was on my way to see him and arrived to find the police, who told me what had happened and had been rushed to the local hospital. I knew by the coppers face it was worse than that, so I said, give it to me straight. But in my heart I knew.
Tweaks, if you have to go and it is your time then a quick death rather than being left disabled to linger is much preferable so there was some mercy in that. I am sure if it were his choice he would say the same. I am glad you can 'talk' about him on here as it must be therapeutic for you to let it all out.
Yea, it is therapeutic Moyra. When I first posted my 'Just for Me' post....that's what it was. But I am really glad that other members, people have shared their experiences as well. I really didn't foresee other posts being made. Sharing is my philosophy in a way. Good times and bad times....for me need someone to share them with. It's weird in a way....but the people I have met on the web, whom I have then met in person have all experienced or shared a loss. I don't mean that in a negative sort of way, I mean it in a caring sharing way which is positive and nice and good yea. I know of some people who do not wish to meet web friends in person and that's fine. But some really good friendships can be made on the Internet...putting aside all the bad things...don't you? Take Vonnie's circumstances...when we used to post on the same forum and eventually got together, it turned out that her Mother had died on the same day as my Dad, but a year earlier....!!!!!
Tweaky, about 5 or 6 years ago I joined Friends Reunited. I did get in touch with one chap I was at school with and we met up - he had managed to contact the whole of our year group. I keep in touch with him on an adhoc basis nothing too regular. However I did make friends with a Chap in Perth Australia, a lady in Queensland Australia and another lady in New Zealand.......now all these years later I wouldn't touch Friends United with a bargepole it has degenerated so much backbiting and nastiness not the fun it used to be. But through it all I met the three expats I mentioned they have been over here and have stayed with me at various times and we still keep in touch weekly the two in Oz phone me via Skype quite regularly. Their friendships have been wonderful and as you say we have all suffered loses and shared similar experiences.
That's great Moyra...just wish I could get intouch with my 'best man' first wedding yea. He moved to Aussie land about 1972, but I have a problem...I'm not sure whether his surname was McCormack or McCormick....not even sure of the spelling either. I have done loads of searches through various channels. Even the local rag of where he used to live...no joy....don't know whether he is still there or came back...I would love to find him if he is still alive. I too am on that site, but I rarely bother with it these days.
I wonder if you knew what area of Oz he went to whether the Sally Army could trace him for you. They are brilliant at tracing people. Well I am going to go and put my feet up for an hour or so. Might catch up with you later. Take care Tweaks.
Very sad to lose someone close. At the moment my Nan is losing her mind to dementia and such and not eating, very hard to watch.
Plantlife, I am so sorry to hear it. Dementia is so cruel to those that suffer with it and to those who have to deal with it too.
thanks moyra, you're right its very hard to deal with, I cant imagine what it must be like to be the person that has it though.
