Agony Aunt Section. Plus Horrorscopes.

Are you having problems with spots and zits. Sex Life. Flatulence, Verbal diarrhea. Anything for that matter.

Please post your fears and questions here. If I cant answer them, I'm sure that someone somewhere will have intimate knowledge of your problem and be able to assist.

Would you like a weekly Horrorscope for your star sign...this is a free service to members and the hosts of this site will accept all blame for the occasional mis-advice...BTW, all advisers have an insurance policy and wear a Kevlar vest just incase.

Over to you members...and please keep it serious, as flippancy is not allowed in the Muppet Show as you know.:thumb:

 

My star sign is PYREX can you tell me if my love life will improve in 2008... I was born with the moon rising in uranus

 

Ah, so you were a test tube baby....your future looks transparent to say the least.

I feel your love life is on the ascendancy (looking in my crystal ball, the other one is cloudy) Uranus...well what can I say.

Uranus was named after an ancient Greek, think Urn was his name...today referred to as Ernie...and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west...however, I digress.

As Uranus if full of hydrogen and helium, your future seems quite windy...or to put it another way....(no best not its a family forum)

At the moment your future looks bright, but don't strike a match ok.:thumb:

 

Okay Tweaks I `ll have a pop.

I`m a Libran who seems incapable of doing a simple task such as putting up a lean to greenhouse with my other half-also a Libran, without experiencing an almost undeniable urge to stab him with a philips screwdriver. Also how poisonous is foxglove tea-and is it detectable from a post mortem.

 

right you say you can help with medical problems..is that correct? Well I have had a very rude itch for quite some time :(

 

Pops try a flat headed screwdriver between the ribs while he sleeps. The entry point is hardly detectable... or swop your otherhalves libran side for something more Aries

 

LOOK this rude itch is really getting on my nerves, if it dosent stop pulling tounges at me im going to thump it ..........how very rood hmmm:eek:

 

Well Lolly.

If you haven't learned how got get things erect these day's, as a librarian I would leaf it alone and shushhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Regarding Digitalis...I can confirm its is undetectable in an autopsy, unless you use the whole plant to stab him with.

Nuttley, you are only allowed one question a day...cause this is costing me more than you think...OK.

 

Thanks Tweaks,

So just the seed capsule then! Excellent ( finger playing a la Mr Burns)

 

spoil sport i got hundreds.... im gonna ask webby if I can register as loads of different names so I can get all me ailments in

 

Did I tell you about the time I lost 15 stone????

I got divorced bum bum

 

So between the two of you he was 5 stone better off then.:rolleyes:

 

Stop trying to hijack this important and serious information thread Nuts, otherwise I shall promote someone else to be the manager in the POP INN.

 

Hang on that`s Maths!

You what?!

 

found a lump on me chest once...turned out to be a sugar puff Id dropped down me vest