mens rules

We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the mens side.
These are OUR rules.

Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

Learn to work the toilet seat, you're a big girl now. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us moaning about you leaving it down.

Saturday equals sports. It's like the moon and the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
JUST SAY IT.

YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts seven months is a problem. See a Doctor.

Anything we said seven months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

If you think you are fat you probably are. Please don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, NOT BOTH. If you already know how best to do it then do it yourself.

If and whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

If it itches we scratch it. That's what we do.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it's just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere anything you wear is fine. Really.

Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex - sport or cars.

You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.

I AM in shape. Round IS a shape.

If Her Ladyship reads this I will probably have to sleep on the sofa tonight but us men don't really mind, it's just like camping.

Pass this to as many women that you know who needs educating )

 

:D :D :D

 

A dwarf was out driving in his car one day when he was hit by another car , he got out and said to the other driver i`m not happy . The other driver replied well which one are you then :D

 

Worthy of inclusion!!

 

Nice one OWG - one of these days the genders will talk the same language, but how boring that would be :D

Vive la difference