artificial insemination

> A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
> After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are
> getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help.
>
> The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
> The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means
> but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet
> how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
>
> The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and
> instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are
> pregnant.
>
> The Man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
> conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to
> impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his lorry,
> drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings
> them back and goes to bed.
>
> Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that
> they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first
> try didn't take, and loads them in the lorry again. He drives
> them out to the woods, has sex with each sheep twice for good
> measure brings them back and goes to bed.
>
> Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing
> around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load
> them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day
> having sex with the sheep and, upon returning home, falls
> listlessly into bed.
>
> The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed
> to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell
> him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
>
> "No," she says, "they're all in the lorry and one of them is
> beeping the horn."

 

:D rofl

 

A bit of duplication here..... Old wine gum posted this one a little while ago, as far as I remember, and it wasn't new then... still funny, though! :D

 

:D :D :D

 

sorry im pretty much still a newbie round here!

 

andyk you had me rocking with the last one

 

:D :D Well I'd never heard that one before..Very good!

 

Sorry guys,
Can not claim the credit for that one, but have to assume that the farmer was Austrailian.
Woops smack my wrist.