speaking clock

Following a night out with a few friends, a man brought them back to show off his new flat. After the grand tour, the visitors were rather
perplexed by the large gong taking pride of place in the lounge. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "Oh, that's my
Speaking Clock" the man replied. "How does it work?" "I'll show you",the man said, giving the gong an ear-shattering blow with an unpadded
hammer. Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed,

"For, f""" sake, you moron, it's twenty to two in the f@@@@g morning!!"

 

:D lol :D

 

:D welcome back owg, missed you, did you have a good time in the way off land of the alien...........

 

Brilliant!

 

We have something similar.
About 2yr ago me and mr.fiz were sitting in the front room reading.It was about 11 `o clock at night, no telly on, nice and peacefull.We knew our next door neighbour, who was 84 at the time hadn`t gone out cos at 9.15 everynight he left his house to go to the club for a couple of whisky`s.I had said at that time,he musn`t be feeling well, he hasn`t gone out.
Anyway,all of a sudden..BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!I had to be peeled off the ceiling.His stair wall is next to our front room and i ran to his front door thinking he`d tumbled down them.I rattled on the door,shouting through the letter box for about 15 mins.Told mr.fiz to phone his friend who i thought would have a key.No joy.Phoned emergency services.
Police came first.Then ambulance.They tried front and back for about half an hour.I should say now that maybe 2 weeks previous the council had fitted new windows and doors to all the council houses.At the finish,I kid you not, they were using a batterring ram to try to open the door to gain entry.
By this time we all honestly thought the poor man must be dead.
Then..."what the bl**dy hell are you doing?!!I`ve just had that door put on!"
Then, the policeman said, "Mr.Smith,would you please put some clothes on."
To cut this story short my neighbour had decided to just stay in that particular night as he`d been having dizzy spells.Only thing, he`d got himself a carry out.Half empty bottle of low flyer on the kitchen top along with a few empty tins of beer.
I still believe he had fallen down the stairs cos their was a broken glass on his bedside table and blood on his sheets.He`d just managed to crawl back up them.Of course he was having none of it,he was not drunk and all we got was can no-one mind their own bl**dy buisness anymore?
He never spoke to me for about a month.

 

Try this for the ultimate(?) speaking alarm clock, turn your sound up then

click here

Cheers MIKE