Just for Bananaman

Clint...........mmmmm definately, as long as he didn't put his teeth in a glass.
Alan T, with his classic music would be relaxing.
Gerard d pd, In his green card days.
But if I stayed localish I think I could spend an evening with Anthony hopkins.

LOL, i think you're increasing your numbers. You could be a very busy lol.

 

PMSL, what it is to get old and still be a sex symbol

 

That's okay, think I can handle it ....

I am supposedly a Lady of Leisure but I must admit I really don't seem to have much spare time lately.

 

:eek: LoL! Surely you didn't mean what it looks like you mean? :eek:

 

Life can be cut off suddenly, like to keep my options open .... slap hands! ouch! yes, I'll behave! Thank you, dendro, for keeping me in order. :rolleyes:

Shame, I'm do busy doing things to enjoy all these lovely thoughts .... sigh ....

 

:D

 

The daughter of a friend of mine working in Xray, actually had a patient come in with this "problem"

Cheers MIKE

 

An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars
on a single roll of the dice. She said "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
luckier when I'm completely nude". With that, she stripped from the neck
down, rolled the dice and yelled "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed..."YES!
YES!
I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her
winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each
other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The
other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."


MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

Cheers MIKE

 

Bill Gates in hell

Eventually, Bill croaks and Satan is there to greet him. "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.

He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner.

Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows XP!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete"

 

:D LOL :D

 

Walking past a field, way out west, I saw a bloke in among the sheep, so I called out

"are you shearing?"

He yelled back "No!!! b****r off and find your own boyo"

Cheers MIKE (ducking into slit trench with tin hat)

 

a little old man slowly eases himself out of his rocking chair,and eventualy stands.his wife looks at him and says"where are you going?"
the old man replies,"im off to the doctor,gotta get me some of that viagra stuff."
straight away,his wife starts to stand,"and where are you going" says the man."im off to the doctor too"says the wife."if your going to start using that rusty old thing,then im gunna get me a tetanus."

 

a man walks into his bedroom holding a sheep,he looks at his wife and says"this is the pig that i have to sleep with when you've got a headache."
his wife replies,"i think you'll find that thats a sheep darling"
the husband replies,"i think you'll find that i was talking to the sheep."
:D

[ 21. May 2007, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: jjdecay ]

 

A drunk comes out of the pub and sees a bloke selling tortoises and buys one; half an hour later he returns and says "can I have another of those crusty pies please"

(dons tin hat and takes cover)