Scotland

good morning everyone,

the following wee list of observations
may be good fun for you to read out
at your christmas lunch

love kathyx


Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most Scottish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Sotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and aDIET coke.
Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.
Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
and finally...
In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
If you're proud to be a Scot, send this on!
SCOTLAND - Love it

 

great kathy3 i like it, must print this out for my friends who are from scotland but live here in north tyneside, what a corka :D :D :D

 

God love them, cracking post Kathy3, I shall pass it on. :D

 

:D :D goes for me also

 

ive emailed it to a friend. :D

 

goodness how true is that :D

 

Thanks Kathy3, wonderful, will pass it on! :D :D :D

 

But you didn't mention the deep-fried mars bars, or the macaroni pies, or the deepfried pizza, KAthy!! How could you...

 

sorry dendrobium must have had a wee senior moment.
by the way i know the chap that first cooked the first deep fried mars.
hes actually quite sane i think kathy

 

How sad!!!!