Mean Nurses

Im a bit upset.

If you have a frail elderly relative in the hospital and you're unhappy about one or two of the nursing staff and health care assistants- is it prudent to complain about them while your elderly relative is still there? Obviously I want things to get better immediately, but we're also concerned about any complaint being taken out on her.
Some of the nurses are impatient and mean enough to her already.

Does anyone here have any experience in this?

 

Ask the cleaner (or some other lowly employee) an odd question and accidently let slip you're part of an investigation from the local media.

You will be surprised how quick the info travels. I hope your relative doesn't drop you in it. You could always suggest to her that you were approached - little white lies can help!

 

Report them to CSki the Care home watch dog, I worked in a care home and they way they treated the residents made me pack it in and report them, It was successful and the managers sacked alot of the bad staff.

 

Oi Cleaners are not lowly but do a very important job, I should Know I am a cleaner.

 

You should complain and immediately. It's most unprofessional behaviour and needs addressing. Your relative is vulnerable and needs someone to be her advocate.

What you should do is gather a list of complaints and incidents your are concerned about; dates, times, nurse's names and all that sort of thing. Be specific. Then make an appointment to see the matron of the department where she is - that is not the ward sister. You can access her by asking the switchboard at the hospital who is the matron in charge of that ward and then asking to be put through to her. Make an appointment, don't discuss it on the phone. Then when you see her, give her the list of complaints and ask her to deal with it.

Nowadays they are getting pretty good at disciplining staff over this kind of behaviour so don't be shy about it. If the matron doesn't do her job, escalate it to the CEO of the hospital. If that doesn't get results nothing will! And the staff will be too scared to take it out on your relative!

Do let us know how you get on.

 

Thanks Lad.
Didn't you feel the irony. Also bin there & been "appreciated"

 

I have to say I sympathise with Melinda, having been there and done that.

When my Mum was in hospital exactly the same situation arose, it transpired that she wasn't being given a single drink between the end of visiting time one day (8 p.m.) and the start of visiting the next (3 p.m.). But would could I do? If I did nothing, nothing would improve, but if I complained, would it perhaps make matters worse? and, as Melinda says, you're terrified they will take your complaint out on the patient, especially someone who is elderly, frail and perhaps not in a position (or too afraid) to complain themselves.

In the end, I spoke very politely to the person who appeared to be in charge of the ward (sometimes, these days, it's difficult to know who does have overall authority). I explained what I 'understood' - not wishing to go in 'with all guns blazing' at the outset - to be the problem and asked if it was possible to ensure the situation was addressed and rectified. To be fair, things did improve for a short while, but once the shifts changed and this particular person was no longer around, it quickly reverted, so back I went and mentioned it again.

On the second occasion I was told '.... I'll see what we can do.' What???? Not good enough - not nearly good enough and it was at that point I saw 'the red mist'. I did a very good duck impression, calm on the surface, seething beneath, and stated that I expected my Mother to be given/offered a drink at regular intervals and that if they (the 'nursing' staff) didn't have the time or resources to do it, then I trusted they wouldn't mind if I came in and did it for them. 'You can't just come in at any time' I was told. 'Not for visiting, no - but since this isn't, so far as I'm aware, a prison, and since I shall be giving essential nursing care, I really don't see you can stop me. And furthermore, I shall continue to do so until or unless the situation improves. Not only that, in addition to lodging a formal complaint and informing the local press, on my next visit I may well be accompanied by my Solicitor to ensure I do have access to my Mother.'

It worked.

But then this was the NHS Trust whose Chief Executive was, at the time, one ..... Rose Gibb

 

Oh FM, thanks so much for writing that post. There was so much there that resonated with me and Im worried.

Daisees- thanks for your post, we're acting on your advice ASAP. Ive been trying to contact the Matron. I've been given a bleep number and a direct number, neither of which have been successful so far, and no one on the switchboard knows the email format for staff.
Surely this is basic stuff? Deep breath.

Ive not cried since my early teens and last night I was decidedly weepy. The lack of compassion and laziness I witnessed had such an impact on my aunt. She was utterly humiliated and seeing it stung me. Really stung me.
My aunt means nothing to them, she is just a number. There seems to be a lack of understanding that this old lady who is such an inconvenience in their day has lived a full and important life and is a precious and cherished person to her family.
Frankly Id rather have her home than expose her to the people 'caring' for her' this past week. I feel guilty for even hesitating to take action.

 

Cleaners are important and useful members of society. Unlike some top managers I've met.

Melinda, I can't be any use on this one but I do sympathise. It was bad enough being in hospital to have my son. Most of the nurses were lovely, but just one or two ... well, you wonder why they've chosen to enter a caring profession in the first place, since they've clearly had some sort of empathy bypass.

 

I would think that it it best to complain to management because the manager would know how best to approach the situation and the person.

Let's just hope that the manager is efficient...

 

If the matron/manager of that unit is unavailable, the speak to the PALs - Patient Liaison Office. They will know who to contact and how. But don't leave it - keep at it on a daily basis. If you don't get a good response from someone by Monday, then go straight to the CEO and tell him that you are being given the run around. It's not good that you can't contact people in charge - it's their job to be available for this kind if thing. Heads can end up rolling about this. But please, please don't hold back for fear of reprisals against your aunt. The nurses know too well that if they were ever stupid enough to do that then heads really would roll! Theirs!

Fidget, I am so pleased you stuck up for your mother. Fluid intake is vitally important in the elderly when they are sick or injured. Lack of fluids can cause their electrolytes (that's all the salts and minerals in their body and blood) to quickly get out of kilter and become life threatening. Within a matter of a week or so, it can cause kidney failure and all sorts if the patient is already frail. Seen it happen way too much in my time both in hospitals and nursing homes. It would the one thing that would make me rant and rave on a ward and demand to see the CEO at once!

I loved your threat (promise?) to bring a solicitor to make sure you had access to her! Way to go!

 

Thanks so much Daisees, and everyone else too.

What with this and the tragedy that touched Ziggy's community, it has genuinely felts like a community here this week. I felt safe enough to say how I was feeling and you supported me at the end of a really horrid day. So a heart felt thank you.

I emailed the matron detailing the problems. Her office number was engaged for 4 straight hours and she wasnt answering her bleeps. If I dont hear back on Monday I'll fwd it to the CEO.

After reading Shiney's post regarding the lack of fluids mimicking dementia, it struck me that this could definitely be the case as her access to water is at the centre of one of our complaints. Just imagine water being a concern in 2011.
My aunt is razor sharp, graceful and fastidious and to see her so changed, so altered, reduced so low in just a week scared the **** out of all of us.

I had to catch up with some training today, but my mother and my sister sat by her bed today and helped her out. I'll go tomorrow in between rowing sessions.

 

I'm glad that our usual rantings have been of some help Melinda.

My Mother in Law is now at home with us after the nursing home decided to not feed and hydrate her any more. We all thought she was dying when she was in there. That was over a year ago. She can't move or communicate any more & there are a multitude of carers in and out of the house all day.

Unfortunately she is beyond the stage where she can tell us if she's had enough. I just know that if i'd got to that stage, i'd want to be given a nice bottle of Wood's Navy Rum & a big bottle of sleeping pills.

Hope things improve in your situation & fast.