Double Glazing Salesman

Just stumped one.

The pitch was about ever increasing fuel bills.

I just said I don't have a fuel bill, he didn't have an answer on his sheet for that one

 

We had to replace some of the windows when we moved in to our house and so we had some replica Victorian sashes made. They turned out to be an absolute pain to fit. We were very relieved when the job was done and the damn things were finally glazed. Just as we were admiring our handiwork, a salesman asked if we'd like a special deal on ripping out all our horrible old wooden junk and having plastic windows installed instead! He was very lucky to escape with a splinter-free backside, I can tell you.

 

We all love salesman on here don't we

 

Nice one, Zig - how come you don't have fuel bills? Or was that just a ruse? (I know - call me dumb!)

I have a strict policy of not admitting any personal information of any kind to cold callers either at the door or on the phone. Door callers look totally bemused and seem to think they have a right to expect me to comply. Telephone callers assure me they are representing firm 'ABC' and are trustworthy and the conversation then goes something like this

Me: So you say. I have no way of knowing that. I didn't ask you to call so you could be anybody
Caller: But I have your details here in front of me ... I just need your date of birth/address/account number/etc., to verify so I can make you this wonderful offer

Yeah right! I might have been born in the night but I wasn't born last night!

 

why not try it next time?

Caller: date of birth,

you: 11th November

Caller: which year?

you: 2011

Caller: you couldn't have been born yesterday

you: well you seem to think I was by the questions you ask

 

Like both of those:D

No fuel bill Daisees. House is insulated beyond building regs requirements.

Equivalent of 16" in the loft, 8" in the walls & 6" in the floor. Low "E" argon filled double glazing.

Solar water heating and a woodburner that powers 8 radiators. I get enough wood off sites during the year, but if I do run low, there are always broken pallets from the builders merchants.

I let the fire go out mid evening but it stays warm thru the next day.

Did notice it was a bit cool one morning last winter, but then I found it was about -10 outside.

 

I once got a phone call from the bank. Yes, they phoned me (always a bad sign ). It went something like this:

Bank lady: For security reasons, can you just confirm your date of birth and your postcode so that I can access your account.

Me: No.

Bank lady (puzzled): Oh, but I need it to proceed.

Me: Look, you phoned me. If you have a message for me, I suggest you say it.

Bank lady: ok sir, if I could just take your security details please.

Me: No. Look you phoned me, you could be anyone. I'll tell you what. If you don't want to tell me why you've called me, I might at some point when I can be bothered, if I remember, call the bank to see what's up, but I'm not giving out any personal details just on the say so that you are who you say you are. If you really are from the bank, then you should know better.

 

We went through a stage where a double glazing company just kept phoning and hassling us every night, so eventually I suggested that the company sales rep pop round to give us a quote.
On the day in question, we simply weren't at home. The company phoned us up to moan that we hadn't kept our appointment, and my reply was..

"You kept wasting my time with your phone calls, so I thought that I would waste some of your time as well".

Oddly they never phoned again.:D