Do you miss your parents?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by "M", Feb 14, 2013.

  1. Julie D

    Julie D Gardener

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    Thankyou, its nice to be here as well.

    Sent from my HTC One X+ using Tapatalk 2
     
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    • shiney

      shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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      I was very fortunate to have a happy childhood. :) Although we came from a very poor background we were a close and loving family.

      My father's parents (born 150 years ago - 1864 and 1869) had ten children and lived in a three bedroom terraced council house in Bow in the East End of London. His parents had one bedroom, his oldest sister and her husband and two children had another and the other nine shared two beds in one room.

      Over the decades most of the family got married and moved away although two of the married sisters stayed in the house, first of all with their parents and then just the two families.

      My mothers family were refugees and her parents came to this country over 100 years ago. She was one of four children and they lived in a similar situation in Hackney.

      Both families were always very close and, when I was a child, our house was always full of aunts, uncles and cousins. My parents were strict, especially my father, but always fair, supportive and loving. As mentioned in other threads, we weren't given a choice of food and we ate what we were given. My sister and I had our household chores and, at the age of seven, I got promoted to getting up early every morning in the winter to get the fire going. My sister did washing up and I did wiping and we had to keep our bedrooms clean. If we didn't do our jobs we were punished but we were always thanked when we had done them.

      When my parents got old and frail my sister and I saw them a few times a week and when my father died, by then my mother walked with a zimmer frame, my mother said (after a year trying to cope on her own) she would like to go into a home. She knew that there was no point in coming to live with us as we would be out at work all week and she wouldn't even be able to make herself a cup of tea (arthritis). She spent seven fairly happy years in the home and I visited her every day even if it was for just 10 minutes. We took her out quite often to visit family, go to a restaurant etc.

      All the senior generation have gone now but we still keep in touch with our cousins and see most of them a few times a year.

      Do I miss my parents? No, not really! This may sound a bit strange, but they lived a long and happy life (both lived to 89) and they went when their time had come. I still have my memories and all the lessons in life that they taught me.

      When mum died, my sister and I sold her little bungalow and shared the proceeds. I had our kitchen and bathroom totally refitted with the money and built our summerhouse. Whenever I go into any of them I, subconsciously, say 'thank you mum!' :wub2:
       
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      • Sparra

        Sparra Gardener

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        Yes, I miss my Dad and my best friend, his hugs made everything better, he made everything better, :grphg: to you all
         
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        • music

          music Memories Are Made Of This.

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          I Miss My Dad,a right character,the stories he told us ,he was in the Navy for About 14 years.
          He travelled all over the world and he would tell us stories of his travels,places,characters he met on Ships and ashore.

          He was on the Russian Convoys to Arkhangelsk/ Archangel ,Russia during WW2 , he seen and lived a full life.

          I still remember all the stories and I still have all Certificates,Identity Books,Sea books and Discharge papers and his Arctic Emblem,I received on his behalf about 5 years ago. Sadly he never seen his award as he passed away years before I received it on his behalf.I placed it in the Garden Of Remembrance.

          His stories and Songs still live on as I have passed them onto my children and my Grandchildren, he will not be forgotten.

          Even The German Navy Never Stopped Him,He Was Torpedoed Twice And Survived.:blue thumb:
           
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          • Marley Farley

            Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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            Yes & my grandparents... Not my birthmother as she walked out when I was 3, but I do miss my stepmother..
            After my mother walked out my father went into the hotel trade with my grandparents so I had the best of both worlds really when I look back.. I was always close to my father I have wonderful memories of him & we had lots of good times together really.. My grandparents also were great all through my childhood & a big part, I got my interest in the garden from my Grandfather & learn't so much about gardening from him.. He had me set up with a garden of my own from very early on in my life, then when I went to live with them when they retired to a tiny hamlet in the New Forest it just took off.. My grandmother was very strict & old fashioned but a wonderful knitter & cook, she taught me to cook & knit, I still use much of what she taught me today..
            When my father died it devastated me & suddenly i realise that he wasn't just my dad & mentor but a woderful friend too!! At that time my stepmother was taken up with my 2 younger brothers but we were friends.. After my daughter arrived I became close to my stepmother to until she died.. A loss of a great friend...

            I miss them all very much at different times usually.. Just as I miss other members of my family who are no longer here, especially the young ones..

            So yes I miss them for their love, wisdom, frienship, laughter & for not being there.... :SUNsmile:
             
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            • Sheal

              Sheal Total Gardener

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              I lost my dad when I was twenty one, just four weeks after my first daughter, his first grandchild was born. I had my husband drive straight to my parents place when we left the hospital. I'd had a difficult birth so remained in the car while my mum took my daughter into meet her grandad for the first time. He had Motor Neurone disease, a muscle wasting disease, which meant he couldn't hold her. My mum apparently crossed his arms and layed her in them, he cried with joy. How I wish I'd seen his face at the time, how I wish he'd had the chance to see my other two children and for them to grow up knowing him.

              Dad and I had an unusual rapport I suppose, we didn't need to speak but were happy just to spend time in each others company in the same room, we both also had a natural talent for crafts which gave us a particular bond. He was a quiet man, but generous of heart and would help anyone in a fix.

              Thirty six years on and I still miss him. If only we could turn back time.
               
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              • redstar

                redstar Total Gardener

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                Hugs to you dear, Sheal.
                 
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                • Folly Mon

                  Folly Mon GC Official Counselor

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                  I Miss Mine Every Single Day!!! Had a Port rate
                  of My Mom on My Chest and the Key Notes to Her Faverite Song Tattood A Rist

                  My Way By Sinatra She Requested I Sing it a Her Funeral :wub2: So I Did Xx
                   
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                  • Jenny namaste

                    Jenny namaste Total Gardener

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                    My Only Fear of Death is My Misses Selling My Possestions for wot i told her I Payd for them

                    You are so naughty sometimes Folly Mon.....
                     
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                    • Fat Controller

                      Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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                      But we loves him for it
                       
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                      • Bilbo675

                        Bilbo675 Total Gardener

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                        My parents are still alive, although my mum split from Dad when I was 7. From then I became close to my grandad, he became my father figure and mentor, he got me in to gardening, wildlife and fishing, I DO miss him a lot. A WWII veteran, he served under Montgomery as a desert rat, I still have his medals and other items from his time in the war, I had the highest respect for him and still do even though he's now passed on.

                        My mum re-married when I was 14 a few years before my grandad passed and it took a while for me to get on with my stepdad but in the end we developed a brilliant relationship that lasts to this day.

                        I have got back in touch with my real Dad too during the last few years and the connection was instant we get on great and email every other week and meet occasionally, he can't and doesn't replace my stepdad and everything he has done for me, I'm just lucky to have 3 parents I guess :)
                         
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                        • "M"

                          "M" Total Gardener

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                          If you have a parent who loves you: feel blessed.
                          If you have a parent who likes you: feel proud.
                          If you have a parent who tolerates you: never give up! With age brings wisdom - somethmes.
                          If you have a parent who doesn't understand the meaning/responsibilites of love: walk away ... but with dignity.
                           
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                          • silu

                            silu gardening easy...hmmm

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                            How very true Mum. I was chatting the other day to a friend who remarked that just because you can have children not everybody is cut out to be a parent which isn't the easiest job! It's not as tho we need to increase the world's population. I was lucky and do "feel blessed", both my parents are no longer here but I still miss them. I used to feel very sad when thinking of them but I now usually smile remembering the fun times.
                             
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                            • pamsdish

                              pamsdish Total Gardener

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                              I always told my children from a young age, my son and daughter, the easy part is having/getting a baby, the work starts as they grow up, nurturing, teaching, loving no matter what, until they are old enough to go out into the world.
                              My son was 40 last New Years day, when does it start. :rolleyespink:.
                              I always wanted for my children the childhood i never had.:cry3:
                               
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                              • Jenny namaste

                                Jenny namaste Total Gardener

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                                As my daughter reminded me the other day " children cannot choose their parents"
                                Jenny
                                 
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