You Really couldn't make this up

There's a couple we know who've not long got married that run a local Karaoke. For the sake of anonymity lets call them John and Jane.

Both have been married before. Jane used to be married to a guy who turned out to be gay. They split up but remained good friends and now every Friday night Jane goes out with her gay ex husband to gay clubs to meet other blokes while her current husband John goes out "as friends" with his ex brother-in-law's ex wife. Confused?

Well John used to be married to a woman called Mary who has a brother calked Alan. John and Alan were best mates who ran a Karaoke business together but when John had an affair with Jane (a woman who used to sing on the Karaoke) Alan wanted nothing more to do with John or the business because of how he'd treated his sister so John carried on the Karaoke business with Jane.

Now, around the same time that John was getting divorced from Mary, Alan (Mary's brother) started seeing a woman called Debbie who he also knew from going to the Karaoke. Alan lost his wife to cancer a few years earlier and was lonely for company. Debbie had also been married twice before and has kids from two previous marriages. Mark who was her last ex husband also goes to the Karaoke as friends even though Debbie nearly got arrested for attempted murder after a violent argument resulted in her stabbing Mark in the arm. Mark is a local private hire taxi driver.

Are you still following this?

Anyway Alan eventually married Debbie but their marriage only lasted 12 months before she'd stripped him of all his money and pensions and now Alan is back on his own again.

Here's the weirdest part... Every Friday night while Jane goes out with her gay ex husband, John goes out with Debbie (his ex wife's brother's ex wife) and if that's not weird enough for you, at the end of the night Debbie calls up her ex husband Mark (the taxi driver she once stabbed) to bring them both home and everyone is ok with this arrangement.

You seriously couldn't make it up could you?

 

No sorry I don't live near you. Blimey that's a coincidence.

 

This sort of thing appears on almost every episode of The Jeremy Kyle Show.

 

Too confusing for me I'm afraid. I prefer simpler love stories. Like this.

There was a chap, let's call him Jack for the sake of anonymity. He became close to a lady, who we'll call Jill, again for the sake of anonymity. One day they walked up the local hill. They needed to get a bucket of water. Quite why they needed to go up hill for this is beyond me, but that's what they did. Unfortunately, Jack fell. He fell and tumbled all the way to the bottom of the hill, breaking his crown. You'll never guess what though. As if its not enough that Jack fell, but more or less as soon as he did, Jill also fell, tumbling all the way down the hill after Jack.

 

Nowt as queer as folk

 

You Really couldn't make this up.

No I couldn't make it up.
Mostly because I didn't understand it.

 

Sounds like they all are friends just to use one another for what they can get out of the friendship

 

Wasnt this once a tv show called Soap

 

I know who these people are and even I had to get my head around it whilst typing that.

In a nutshell it's loads of people who all know one another who were once married to other people but split up, remained friends and now go out as friends with one another's ex husband's and wives. Even though they are currently married to someone else.

Jane goes out to gay clubs with her ex husband who turned out to be gay while Jane's husband John goes out with his ex wife's brother's ex wife Debbie and at the end of the night they all get a lift home with Debbie's other ex husband Mark which happens to be a taxi driver who whilst married to Debbie almost had her arrested for attempted murder after she plunged a knife into his arm during a violent domestic row.

I'm sure that's no clearer.

 

Oh man that's complicated. Brain pain before ten am is just not allowed lol

 

But if it was a typical Jeremy Kyle Show family they'd all be at it with one another (and others)and having to take paternity tests to work out who'd fathered the children.