2 New Aircraft Carriers....

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by Marley Farley, Feb 20, 2011.

  1. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    :heehee: This priceless I think..... [size=small]
    Two New Aircraft Carriers......
    USS REAGAN :
    [​IMG] BEAUTIFUL!

    When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this
    monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 45 acres. Her displacement is
    about 100,000 tons with full complement.

    Capability
    Top
    speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate
    for more than 20 years without refuelling
    1. Expected to operate
    in the fleet for about 50 years
    2 Carries over 80 combat
    aircraft
    3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28 - ton aircraft
    going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet
    Size
    1.
    Towers 20 stories above the waterline
    2. 1092 feet long; nearly as
    long as the Empire State Building is tall
    3. Flight
    deck covers 4.5 acres
    4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across,
    weighing 66,200 pounds
    5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing
    50 tons
    6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 sq ft
    capacity
    7. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
    8. Carries enough
    food and supplies to operate for 90 days
    9. 18,150 meals served
    daily
    10. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water
    from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
    11. Nearly 30,000 light
    fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
    12.
    14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets
    13. Costs the Navy
    approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation
    14. Costs the
    Navy approximately $25 million per day for underway operations (Sailor's
    salaries included).

    HMS GORDON
    BROWN :

    Sunday, July 20, 2008 The Royal Navy welcomed the latest
    member of its fleet today. The HMS Gordon Brown set sail today from its
    home port
    of Skegness .


    [/size]
    [align=center][size=small][​IMG]
    [/size]
    [/align][size=small]
    The ship is the first of its
    kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Prime Minister Brown for
    his foresight in military budget cuts and his conduct while Prime
    Minister.
    The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled
    aluminium and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots.
    It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one
    (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or
    captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

    As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

    The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members
    of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation.
    This crew,
    like the crew aboard the Severn Ferry, is specially trained to avoid
    conflicts and appease any and all enemies of Britain
    at all costs!
    An on - board Type One DNC Universal Translator
    can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find
    Britain offensive. The number
    of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and
    disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

    The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national
    defence, but instead in times of conflict, the HMS Gordon Brown has
    orders to seek refuge in Blackpool.

    The ship may be positioned near the Labour Party Headquarters
    for photo - ops.
    The Browns should be very proud.
    [/size]
     
  2. Phil A

    Phil A Guest

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    :D Sounds about right.
     
  3. pete

    pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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    It would be good if it was a joke.:D

    Unfortunately its probably somewhere near the truth.:mad:
     
  4. ARMANDII

    ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

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    I just don't understand the thinking. A smaller, weaker trio of armed forces. No carriers for around 6-8 years and then the aircraft designated for them weren't what the Navy wanted. No Nimrods and those that were there are now scrap at a cost of 8 billion pounds. Thatcher cut the Armed Forces down to the bone and then along came the Falklands! They went out with a crippled carrier and a rag-tag of ships not even up to the kind of war that it was going to be. But they were expected to shut up, put up and do the job - and they did. I know we don't rule the seas anymore or have an empire, but we do have a country to defend - ours! We're going back to the 1930's level and capacity again in the resources and manpower.
     
  5. shiney

    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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    Hi Marley,

    At the moment I can't see the pictures. They only have a red 'x' there.
     
  6. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    :scratch: Hmm sorry then shiney as I have no idea why that is as I can see them no probs..... :scratch: :D
     
  7. shiney

    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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    It's peculiar as the text is showing OK but it is showing the for Bold either side of all your bold text :scratch:
     
  8. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    :scratch: Yes I know s are showing yet I cannot see them until I post.. Weird..
    Any way here are the pics.. We shall try it this way for you shiney, but don't laugh too hard.... :WINK1:

    USS Reagan..
    [​IMG]
    HMS Gordon Brown..

    [​IMG]
     
  9. shiney

    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    I've got up off the floor now!!!! :heehee:

    Thanks Marley :dbgrtmb:
     
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