Birth control

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was
enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't
strong enough to nick one. The husband went to his doctor and told him
that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor
told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the
problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home,
get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to
his ear and count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be
the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in
a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the
can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he
paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue
counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Manchester, parts of Southampton and
anywhere in Scotland.


(change the place names as required)