Cant even face my garden

I don't know what to do, because the kids want their garden, but I can't face it. Between daily cat terd patrols, and thoughtless neighbours inadvertently but annoyingly encroaching on my space, I just can't face it any more. Latest thing is they had some cowboys in to reduce their monster of a sycamore tree. They've trashed our garden in the process, but also they've stacked all the cuttings against my fence, which will of course gradually push it over. I'm furious, but I'm also despondent. I feel like its just going to be hard work and expense for nothing.

 

So sorry to read this...

It does sound all too much. Maybe try to tackle just one thing at a time? It's how I cope most days - not so much one day at a time, but 10 mins at a time.

Ok, an idea for one of the problems - I send you Harley. He will stop the cats...umm, probably not the best starter for 10.

I'll try again?! (See what I mean? No "appropriate" progress on that problem, so move on to work at another)
The pile of wood against your fence. I know how that can feel like it's pressing on your very lungs at times. Rather than moan at the neighbours, or sit cradling your coffee, with your blood pressure climbing ever higher. Why not dust off your bestest, brightest Happy Neighbour face, knock on the door, and say words to the effect of "I've got a spare half hour (I know, but sometimes a white lie is acceptable), can I help you move this wood to "blah" [appropriate place in garden where can be nature reserve/woodstore/aka not leaning on your fence!!]. No, really, no problem! I could do with checking the bottom of my fence as well, not sure if it needs a bit of work next month..."
You are being helpful and considerate to your neighbours, getting the stuff moved, slipping in the potential damage to YOUR fence, and maybe even starting a conversation about beetle banks?
Sorry, this is reading like I'm a lunatic. Maybe I am?! But I find that sometimes gritting my teeth and working around to a solution, even from the other side (literally, in this case) is better for my sanity in the long run.

 

The neighbour is a frail old lady. I want to speak to her, and I don't blame her for any of it, but I feel like I couldn't hide my anger and might make her feel bad, which I don't want.

Just been out there to tidy up. A young apple tree, in its second year since I planted it so probably getting ready to produce flowers by next year, snapped. Same with the plum tree. A mature black currant bush, snapped and split. The kids swing has been ripped out of the ground. It was staked down. They've obviously moved it to make way for a falling branch, but instead of being careful, they've just ripped it out. They then stuck one of the legs in a bucket full of water that happened to be out there. So it would have rusted quickly had I not spotted it in time. The main flower bed was covered in leaves and twigs.

I really don't know what to do. I'm furious to bursting point but I don't know how anyone can appease me. I can't foresee any satisfactory resolution. Making the old lady feel bad will not make me feel any better, in fact it would make me feel worse, especially considering she probably feels very ripped off given that they've massacred her trees, and made a proper mess of her garden. Phoning the 'company' (unprofessional thieving scumbags that lie about their absence of skills in order to trick old ladies out of their money) will undoubtedly result in them lying more and denying all responsibility.

And while I'm furious about my garden, being realistic, the damage us not costly or difficult to fix. The poor old girl next door no longer has a garden. It's now just an enormous pile of twigs and branches. She has no way to get rid of it.

I'm going to have to find a way to chill, then go and offer to tidy it for her. Maybe if I can muster a few of my mates, and get her younger relatives involved, we might be able to get it presentable within a weekend. Then I can move forward. Just need to figure out how to chill first. Or maybe send the wife. She seems remarkably at ease about the whole thing.

 

I see a Bank Holiday Weekend "Garden" party on the horizon; ask your closest mates to bring a few cans, ask Mrs Clue to buy some baking potatoes; you lot get stuck in clearing all that debris and - voila! - you'll be amazed at how much you can achieve.
After it's all cleared, set it alight have a good bonfire, throw in those baked potatoes and unwind with some hot jacket potatoes, chilled beers and a good hearty belly laugh with your mates. The cold ashes can be sprinkled over your garden beds/borders/trees

You won't be getting your mojo back all the while the mess is still obvious and those cuttings are piled against your fence!

Do it for the mini-men they deserve a happy Daddy and a garden to run wild in now the weather is warming up

 

Yikes!!

I think you are already seeing a way forward .

1. Have a look at the diaries of your family, and some mates, and find a suitable weekend (or 2 possible dates?) for operation Garden Rescue. (OGR)

2. Send your wonderfully calm wife around to talk to your neighbour. A pack of Kleenex, and maybe even some choccy biccies tucked in her handbag. My guess is your neighbour would see that chance to talk about how let down she feels, as a real blessing.

3. Wonderful Wife (OK, we do stick together, you know!!) drops the idea of OGR into the conversation. Ideally, so that the neighbour thinks it is her idea?

4. OGR goes into full swing. Maybe a BBQ? A big party cake, that the neighbour can contribute?, along with plenty of mugs of tea.

You may even find other neighbours are willing to help: contribute plants, cuttings, an hour's work. Maybe they would like some firewood?!!

Re the massacre of your trees.
Big breath! If they are young, healthy trees, they can bounce back. Check they are still secure in the ground. Cut the jagged tears/breaks to a clean cut (I'm shuddering at the image of what they have gone through - I have baby fruit trees myself). To reassure yourself, look at what is involved with fan-training a tree.... Cut tree back to encourage side growth! They may need extra watering, to help against probable root damage. But if the break is above the graft point, there is hope....
Black currant bush - again I'm weeping inside for you. I'm hugely emotionally attached to one such bush, it was the last thing my father bought me. I moved it with me, when we moved house. Personally, I don't care if I never get a single fruit from it. If someone were to damage that plant?

 

You beat me to it!!

 

Great minds, my friend ... great minds

 

Wife tells me that on the day of the massacre, the largest tree, which used to overhang our garden, was still intact at 11:30 which was when the butchers started. She had to nip out. She was back by 12, literally 30 minutes later, and the tree was reduced to a branchless trunk.

There must have been exactly zero effort in terms of care and respect. To do such a huge tree in 30 minutes, they must have literally gone crazy with a chainsaw. There would have been no time to attach ropes, to plan where bits would fall, to think about how the tree might regrow or anything. In fact, to do it so quickly, it's a miracle nobody got killed. They can't have harnessed up for every big branch. As harnessing up and planning on not being knocked flying would have taken half an hour at least as they worked their way round.

 

You could complain to the cowboys, if you can get contact details, about the damage they did to your garden.

 

People like that would just deny everything. Even if they didn't, I don't want them within a mile of my garden, so there's little point risking a thrombo by further infuriating myself by speaking to them.

 

At least find out their names and then tell everyone on here and facebook.

 

I know the trading name. Trouble is, there are several companies in the area, and one national, that use the same name. So naming and shaming the tree butchers will unfortunately also slur other companies, some of which may be more professional.

 

We need @HarmonyArb advice on this one

 

Things could be so much worse. You could have dug up several tons of asbestos in your garden and didn't know it was there, like I did a few years ago.

Any toil in your garden in worth the effort and the longer you procrastinate over it the harder it will be to deal with.

I don't mean to be blunt but things could be so much worse.

 

It could be. My garden could be in a part of the world torn apart by war. It could be on a cliff, in great danger of falling over the top due to coastal erosion.

There are many ways it could be worse, but that doesn't make it all ok. I'm not in competition with anyone to try to win 'most dire situation of the year' award.