Claiming benefits.

Good evening people. I know that you are a kindly, knowing bunch of people and I need some answers to my problems.

The story goes: (quite a long one, sorry!)

I joined a major university after leaving school, as an electronics apprentice at 16 years old and took up a position as an electronics technician in one of the departments, that I stayed in until I was made redundant in 2013. I was basically forced out due to a difference of opinions between myself and the hierarchy.

I received redundancy money for my 34 years served and lived off this money for the last 2 years. However, not experiencing change of jobs or having to seek employment, I was naive to what I should do next and swept things under the carpet (financially) and adjusted my spending rate to suit.

Back in February, this year, my 88 year old father had a fall while walking the dog one morning. He already had a heart condition and after falling, needed a hip replacement. Since then, I have had to care for him along with my girlfriend. Before his accident, we ( me and other half) were living together in SE London and spending weekends back at dad's flat in SW London ( which Dad and myself, jointly own). So we all spent time together.

Dad is now not capable of coping on his own so myself and missus are always with dad, commuting between 2 homes with dad in tow, allowing for a multitude of hospital appointments. Always having to be in a certain place for doctors and hospital stuff. Now for the issue!

I arranged for an interview for job seekers allowance yesterday and turned up for my 9 o'clock interview. However, the member of staff that I had to see at job centre arrived 15 minutes late for work and had to cut my interview short because she had another client. I was asked to attend at 4 this afternoon to complete procedure! On returning home, dad got upset as he said 'how will I cope during the day without you?' I cancelled appointment as I realise I can't leave him on his own as he also has dementia issues.

I need some income as I'm now borrowing off dad to survive. That's not fair on either of us and I feel so guilty. Dad is only on a normal pension so I can't even claim a carers allowance. Today I've applied for a form to try to get him swapped over to try to receive an ' attendance allowance' which will allow me to claim a carers allowance on top, which equates to very little.

I'm sitting here crying as I type this as I just don't know where to turn. My girlfriend also suffers from depression and anxiety attacks and is not with me at the moment as she has family problems, also.

I'm not asking for sympathy, people. Just perhaps, some guidance as to what to do? I really am at the end of my tether and don't know what to do.

Thanks for listening, at least I've got it out of my system by writing it down( sort of). All the best, Russ

 

Adding to Armandii's reply.

I'm sorry to hear you are in such a difficult situation Rustler. It's not easy when you are torn between looking after your father or finding a job. Perhaps you should speak to your local DHSS and see what they can do to help financially.

You could also speak to your fathers doctor as he may advise you about carers giving your father support when you are working again.

 

I am in a very similar position except I am ill

1. If your dad is not able to care for himself he needs a care assessment from the local authority / council social services. There is a "self referral" system in place where I live but GP do help sometimes. They can arrange four visits a day or whatever is required. There is usually some type of charge depending on the finances. If you are saying it is not possible for him to be left in between visits then there is a choice between a care home, looking after him yourself or paying someone else privatley to look after him whilst you work these are called personal assistants and can be employed in adition to carers. there are probs with each suggestion above but what works best for me is a care package a pa and myself and between us all we put in 11 visits a day for the two parents together.

2. If you enter your details into the free website entitledto. Co. UK this will explain what you and your parther are entitled to. You can have a few goes a day and work out which option suits you best e.g. working full time or part time etc.

3. Looking for work is the one I am struggling with but universaljobmatch gumtree and local newspapers and their associated websites seem to yield the best results for me.

What I would say is pick up a note book and start writing down everything as you do it. As it is a complex but not I'm possible task to untangle all the issues and get sorted.

 

I cant really add anything but wishing the best and it will sort itself out matey. Id suggest getting that interview done as you cant beat their system and never miss one of their appointments as they will make life hell for you if you do that.
Talk to them and explain your predicament and they will probably be able to help you out by suggesting part time work for you that will enable either you or your girlfriend to be with your dad .

Chin up bud and the good thing about having your garden is that it can be a good place to escape to for a couple of hours just to help lift the dark thoughts. And as youve shown us youve got a nice one and it isnt a money pit either.

 

Hi Russ...I'm a full time carer so I know exactly how you feel. It's very stressful and very tiring. It's 1.42am and I still can't get to bed. Hey ho...it is what it is.

As far as claiming was concerned we went to an agency here similar to the Citizens Advice Bureaux. They even came to the house for a home visit. I think the CAB in some areas do home visits so you could ring them and ask. The only reason we used another agency is because our area didn't do home visits and it was too difficult to take the person I look after with me. The CAB will advise you on everything and even fill in all the forms for you.

As as been suggested, see your Dad's GP for help in getting a care assessment if there is no self referral in your area as HRG above says. As his carer, you are also entitled to a carer's assessment from your local social services and this will help you to access any support you need for yourself.

Finally if you find yourself crying a lot and feeling down do go and see your own GP. Many carers struggle with depression which makes things much harder to cope with. If you are depressed, treatment really can help to make a difficult situation much more bearable.

 

Rustler you just have to play their game
It may be ridiculous, but you must attend any Job seekers interview, it is cheaper to get someone for a couple of hours if needed, than to lose what benefit you would be entitled to

You must have friends around, get one of those to look after dad whilst you attend a DWP interview/interviews, even if you have to pay for a "said" friend, or explain to your Dad just what the outcome would be if you have to stay home

Fail to attend an interview or even be five minutes late and you lose six weeks benefit
so knuckle under play the game and you will survive with your dad

The main man who could offer you advice is not available on here just now

You will get there in the end, just takes time

Regards Jack McH

 

Hi rustler.

I'm very sorry to read of your difficult situation. Not that it counts for much, but you're not alone. The majority of benefits office staff are knobs.

Being practical:

1. If you believe that your being made redundant was personal, talk to acas. It costs you nothing to speak to them, and if they think you have a case for unfair or constructive dismissal, or if redundancy was not done by the book, they will set you on the right path to justice and recompense. By the way, have they hired someone else to do your job? If they have, then your role was not redundant, and your redundancy is unlawful.

2. Lodge a formal complaint against the agent that cut your interview short.

3. See about becoming a registered carer for your father. You would get carers allowance.

4. Don't doubt yourself. You are clearly a good person. The benefits office staff have only one skill, which is to make people feel like crap. They have to. There job depends on people needing them.

5. Come for a pint. I know that's a daft thing to say given that you're about 300 miles from me, but if it was practical, I'd share a beer withyou.

 

At the JSA interview be careful what you say (if anything) about caring for your father because I'm sure I've read about people being refused JSA because their amount of caring responsibilities made them not 'available for work'.

Unless you've been paying them, whilst you've been living off redundancy you've lost 2 years of NI contributions.

 

Hi Russ,

Sorry to hear how you are feeling.

First, go to your local services and ask for a Care Manager to be appointed to your dad and you, as they can also assess your needs as well. If they won't appoint a Care Manager, then get your dad's doctor to refer both of you to social services.

Get the Care Manager to do a full assessment on both of you, as this will lead to you getting help with claiming carers allowance and other benefits on behalf of your dad.

There are ways to keeping him at home rather putting him a care home, so please don't think he can't stay at home when he can.

Once you get the care sorted and you getting, then ask CAB about if you can get a paid job and will it effect your benefits.

Don't give in, fight for everything..

 

Hi there, I would suggest to contact your Social Services as well as Healthwatch in your area that should be able to direct you.

 

Make sure you're there when he's assesed. An elderly bed-bound relative with dementia will tell GPs, Social Services, etc. that she goes for long walks, rides a bycycle, etc., and denies that fhere's anything wrong with her, despite the fact she can't walk even one step and has to be hoisted in and out of bed.

 

Thank you so much to everyone that replied. Your words of kindness and advice given mean so much.

I have decided that I'm not going to go down the JSA route as it's not going to work for us. I could not leave my dad with outside carers as I have seen how it operates with dad's family and there is not much caring going on. Instead, I have applied for attendance allowance for dad and am waiting for appropriate forms to be sent.

I will make an appointment with citizens advice early next week. I will also contact social services. I know I will have doctors backing and also have every one of his many, doctors and hospital appointment letters plus his full medical history, all documented. I'm trying to be positive and hope this will all benefit his claim. Once in place, I will then try to claim carers allowance. I have also instigated claiming my works pension. I will take a big hit by drawing it early but I must look to the present and worry about the future when it comes.

We should have most of the medical team on side as they visit us at home. This includes district nurse, occupational therapy and physiotherapy. Even his medication is delivered due to his condition. In fact, physiotherapy have had to take a step back until after his pacemaker is fitted next month. Much time will be spent on phone to try to sort this.

Every reply to my post was so valuable and touching. I have made notes on every point raised. Again, thank you so much, my friends for your advice and your thoughts. Have a lovely night, people.

All the best, Russ