Darned vicious Monkey Puzzle Tree. Certificate PG

Discussion in 'Trees' started by Moopants, Jul 24, 2011.

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  1. Moopants

    Moopants Gardener

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    If I had my way I'd chop the damn thing down and burn it but MrMoopants seems to love it.

    It came with the house and it's not the healthiest specimen. There are loads of brown leaves /branches and they're getting higher up but there are still lots of green healthy branches/leaves too. (sorry no camera or pics)

    I hate the thing as I'm constantly getting stabbed and scratched by it as I try to remove all the weeds below it. Luckily Moopants Jr is too small to be affected but it wont be long before its attacking her too (perhaps then he'll listen)

    I guess I'm wondering if its (hopefully) on its way out - as the brown is getting more numerous since we moved here or if this is a natural response to getting taller, which is still lush green at top.

    I cant even kill the slugs in my garden but if nature were taking effect it would make it easier to persuade Mr Moopants to get rid of the violent tree

    I guess I'm asking, if anyone can tell from my description if its a loss.
     
    Moopants, Jul 24, 2011
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  2. Phil A

    Phil A Guest

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    Hi Moopants,

    Is it 130 feet tall yet? If not, its still growing. They shed the lower branches as they grow, to stop monkeys climbing them:heehee:

    If you get some Basil, at least you could make pesto with it.
     
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      Phil A, Jul 24, 2011
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    • whis4ey

      whis4ey Head Gardener

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      Hate those blo*dy things :)
       
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        whis4ey, Jul 24, 2011
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      • Sheal

        Sheal Total Gardener

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        Just a thought, aren't monkey puzzles a protected species? You could have another problem Moopants, sorry!
         
        Sheal, Jul 24, 2011
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      • TreeTreeTree

        TreeTreeTree I know sh!t about trees

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        No, at least not in this country.
         
        TreeTreeTree, Jul 24, 2011
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      • daitheplant

        daitheplant Total Gardener

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        No, they are readily available in any half decent garden centre. I don`t see a problem with them. You KNOW they are going to hurt, so keep away from them.:heehee::heehee::dbgrtmb:
         
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          daitheplant, Jul 25, 2011
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        • shiney

          shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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          Just remove the brown branches, which will have the effect of putting the vicious parts out of reach. The higher up branches do tend to droop down as they get older but shouldn't be too much of a problem.

          Did you know that they come in male and female varieties?
           
          shiney, Jul 26, 2011
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        • daitheplant

          daitheplant Total Gardener

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          I did.lol
           
          daitheplant, Jul 26, 2011
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        • pete

          pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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          A great tree, but not for a small garden.

          Not quite the same as pushing past a Leylandii thats got out of control.:)
           
          pete, Jul 26, 2011
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        • Moopants

          Moopants Gardener

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          I did not... please dont tell me they breed? How do you know what you have?


          I'm convinced it lies in wait for me           to try and pass, then it pounces.
           
          Moopants, Jul 29, 2011
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        • shiney

          shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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          You won't know until the tree produces cones.

          The female tree grows taller than the male tree.

          [​IMG]



          The male produces short, erect cones (no giggling from the ladies :))

          [​IMG]



          Whereas the female produces cones that are large balls (no giggling from the men :)) and very dangerous to walk under (I said, no giggling from the men!)

          [​IMG]

          [​IMG]
           
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            shiney, Jul 29, 2011
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          • Sheal

            Sheal Total Gardener

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            Shiney,
            Thought I'd add this one to yours if you don't mind. Taken by my son.....and yes they are lethal. :)
             

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            Sheal, Jul 29, 2011
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          • daitheplant

            daitheplant Total Gardener

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            May we PLEASE have this thread x rated.:dbgrtmb:
             
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              daitheplant, Jul 29, 2011
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            • Sheal

              Sheal Total Gardener

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              But it's just nature doing it's 'thing' Dai. :heehee:
               
              Sheal, Jul 29, 2011
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            • daitheplant

              daitheplant Total Gardener

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              But IN PUBLIC?:yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::hapfeet::thumbsup:
               
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                daitheplant, Jul 30, 2011
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