Does this sound like you?

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by Garden sponge, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. Garden sponge

    Garden sponge Gardener

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    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas.
    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg lifts etc.
    Get in the shower.
    Use face cloth,arm cloth, leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.
    Condition your hair with grapefruit and mint conditioner enhanced.
    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger and cranberry body wash.
    Rinse conditioner off hair.
    Shave armpits and legs.
    Turn off shower.
    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
    Get out of shower.
    Dry with towel the size of small country.
    Wrap hair in super absorbant towel.
    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
    If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

    Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed and leave in a pile.
    Walk naked to the bathroom.
    If you see wife along the way shake willy at her making the "Woo-Woo" sound.
    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
    Get in the shower.
    Wash your face.
    Wash your armpits.
    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in shower.
    Spend majority of time washing prvates and surrounding area.
    Wash your bum leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck in the soap.
    Wash your hair.
    Make a shampoo mohawk.
    Wee.
    Rinse off and get out of shower.
    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
    Admire willy size in mirror again.
    Leave shower curtain open wet mat on floor light and fan on.
    Return to bedroom with towel round waist.
    If you pass wife pull off wet towel shake willy at her an make the "Woo-Woo" sound again.
    throw wet towel on bed.
     
  2. Garden sponge

    Garden sponge Gardener

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    wow didnt think all of that would get through but it did !!! :D :D
     
  3. jjordie

    jjordie ex-mod

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    [​IMG] ................................. [​IMG]

    Nice one GS but a bit naughty!
     
  4. Fran

    Fran Gardener

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  5. Banana Man

    Banana Man You're Growing On Me ...

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    Have you still not been to the toilet GS ?

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Kedi-Gato

    Kedi-Gato Gardener

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    Oh, that one cracked me up, couldn't read for wiping the tears away. Of course, a lot is only made up in both parts - or is it? I missed that bit BM, I wonder if any of the gals noticed it as well?
     
  7. Victoria

    Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

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    Brilliant Garden sponge, nothing like a good laugh to cheer the day up! Thanks for that!

    Like you K-G, I couldn't read through the tears either.

    I think BM is talking about Garden sponge bouncing up and down like she has to go to the toilet!
     
  8. UsedtobeDendy

    UsedtobeDendy Gardener

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    I reckon it's both, LoL! I know it's always part of my shower routine..... :D
     
  9. wiseowl

    wiseowl Admin Staff Member

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    Really funny Hilarious GS .These rabbits get every where even in the shower :D
    [​IMG]
     
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