Drinking and Driving over Christmas

As the Christmas spirit will be flowing over the festivities I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice claret.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.

Steve...

 

My father in law is the kind of person who can never resist a freebie and can always find a use for other people's chuck-outs. A few years back he was invited to a Christmas get-together which involved a lot of booze. He resisted the temptation to imbibe manfully, as he knew he would have to drive home. However, the many empty wine bottles which were lying around by the end of the evening were just too much of a temptation for him. He asked if he could have the whole lot for his home made hooch. The hostess was only too delighted to dump the entire caboodle in the back of his aged land rover.

Alas, on the way home he got stopped by the local police, who asked if they could inspect the back of the car. They were on the look-out for stolen Christmas trees, apparently. Explaining away the impressive stash of empties and trying to convince them that he was still stone-cold sober took quite some time.

 

Brilliant Steve

 

several years ago, whilst in south africa, I went to a mate's house in my village for a BBQ on a friday night

drove there ... spent several hrs around the BBQ (was a full lamb on the spit... big party) ... had several beers ... was 'mellow' but not drunk, but was way over the limit

on the way home after 1am in the morning, (by car and driving) ... (I only had to drive approx 2 miles from the BBQ to my home), I got stopped by a traffic official

he asked if I had been drinking ... I replied yes, but said only had 2 small cans of beer as I had been at a BBQ

he produced a breathilizer blowing thingy (they had just been released in south africa) ... told me to blow into the device .... I sucked

he checked the reading and asked me to repeat the test .... sucked again

he shook his head and said the breatherlizer gadget was faulty and let me off

never ever drove again after drinking ... If I had blown instead of sucking, I would have been locked up in prison till monday without bail and would have had to attend court on the monday and would have most prob lost my licence

 

Plagarism! :D :D :D

Posted on the 17th!

http://gardenerscorner.co.uk/forum/muppet-show/38159-joke-two-4.html

Nicking my jokes. :D :D :D

 

Dim......At least you didn't do this.........

 

... I can say, that when I was pulled over, I went stone cold sober in a matter of seconds

when I got home, I had a sugar water and was pale....

very scary .... If I was caught, I would have been in a lot of trouble and would have lost my licence

Public transport in south africa is bad .... would have lost my job aswell