Embarrassing moments

I went out boozing with my mate Paul last night. When we were in our early 20s we used to go out boozing quite a lot. Now its very rare. Paul is 40 years old and looks it. That's not old at all, but it is to someone in their late teens/early 20s.

Paul spotted two young blonde ladies sat just across from the bar that we were propping up.

Without warning, Paul, half full of beer, strutted off towards them. He must be going to the loo I thought, so gave it no further thought. Until, I heard Paul's booming voice say, "alright ladies?".

As if that's not bad enough, he's old enough to be their dad plus "alright ladies" never even worked when we were young, he failed to recognise their resulting giggle for what it was, they were laughing at him, so I had to go and save him. I really didn't want anything I said to come over as a chat-up, so what could I say? I strutted over and said, "sorry, I don't know you but I'm sure you are both lovely, but my friend here is probably old enough to be your dad, so maybe just tell him no", and then I extracted Paul.

The thing is we both still had a full pint, on the bar, right in front of these ladies, so we couldn't even just scurry off. It was so embarrassing.

So come on then, lets have your latest embarrassment tale

 

You could have abandoned the pints - it's only beer, after all! (As if)

 

Not in that particular bar. I bought the round (2 pints) and it came to nearly a tenner.

 

Is Paul still talking to you?

 

Nah, but the young ladies are still thanking him for saving them

 

He's ok. He found himself a slightly older blonde in the next pub. He is rubbish at interpreting signals so when he goes on a pulling mission he keeps looking across at me and I have to either nod or shake my head. This blonde lady, about 30 year old if I'm any judge, initially seemed disinterested so I shook my head. Paul was about to abort mission when she changed her mind. I can only say that what happened next, if Paul (or any bloke) had initiated it with such force, the police would have been involved, but she started it and Paul wasn't complaining. I just left him to it, for about 5 minutes, until she changed her mind again and Paul came back looking very smug.

 

Blimey, she wasn't beating around the bush then.

 

What the heck were you drinking - Drambuie shandies !

 

Clueless wouldn't drink a shandy

It was a Drambuie Top.

 

What's a drambuie top?

 

Pint of Drambuie with a dash of lemonade on the top

 

It Can Get Much Worse Clueless.
Sitting in a dark/dim lit Disco area with flashing Strobe lights,Half Gassed and two long haired Blondes are sitting with their backs to you and you glide across the dance floor ,like John Travolta, bend over to introduce yourself, and Notice,

They have a bigger Moustache than you !!.

True , Happened To My Mate And I In The 70s..

 

It can indeed.

It must have been in my early 20s, when, having consumed a few pints, I was in the pub one night attempting to chat up a girl who I'd had my eye on for a while.

As we were talking, the bar was lit up by blue flashing lights as an ambulance sped past along the road outside.
"Wonder where that was going" she said.
"Dunno" says I, "Maybe some pratt's just wrapped himself round a tree trunk somewhere."

Sharp intakes of breath all round; her face froze and she glared at me as she replied "That's not funny, my brother was killed in a car crash last year."

Still makes me cringe now, some thirty years on.

 

'Hold up' stockings that DON'T 'hold up'...........Thankfully didn't turn out to be a complete catastrophy but could have done

 

I can feel your pain Trunky