Four letter words

Came across this in my file and I can't remember whether I've posted it before.


Banish the use of the four-letter words
Whose meanings are never obscure.
The Angles, the Saxons, those hardy old birds,
Were vulgar, obscene and impure.
But cherish the use of the weaselling phrase
That never quite says what you mean.
You�d better be known for your hypocrite ways
Than as vulgar, impure or obscene.

When Nature is calling, plain speaking is out
When the ladies, God bless ââ?¬Ë?em, are milling about.
You may wee-wee, make water, or empty the glass
You can powder your nose, even Johnny can pass.
Shake the dew off the lily, see a man about a dog.
When everyone�s drunk, it�s condensing the fog.
But please to remember if you would know bliss,
That only in Shakespeare do the characters p*ss.