Getting Older!

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by shiney, Nov 16, 2018.

  1. shiney

    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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    Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

    I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

    I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

    Old age is coming at a really bad time.

    When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small holiday.

    The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

    I don’t have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.

    If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

    Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

    Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

    Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

    At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

    Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car.

    And I don’t have acne.

    Life is great.
     
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    • Janet mahay

      Janet mahay Gardener

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      Like greyhair wisdom highlights one
       
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      • clanless

        clanless Total Gardener

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        Lucky you - I'm bald and I'm only 53 :yikes:
         
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        • Phil A

          Phil A Guest

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          I'm 56 :yikes:
           
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          • Mike Allen

            Mike Allen Total Gardener

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            I'm 79 and as you see me.
             
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            • Phil A

              Phil A Guest

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              Last time I caught an acne cab it cost me £65 to get back from Heathrow :old:
               
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              • Ned

                Ned Evaporated

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                Gorgeous Mike :wub2:just gorgeous!
                 
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                • Phil A

                  Phil A Guest

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                  You don't look a day over 78 :)
                   
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                  • Freddy

                    Freddy Miserable git, well known for it

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                    Well, whatever it is you’re taking, you look good on it :)
                     
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                    • Freddy

                      Freddy Miserable git, well known for it

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                      Whippersnapper :biggrin:
                       
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                      • Phil A

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                        DSCN0347_zps118716ba.jpg

                        I is 56 but can still balance stones :old::old::old:
                         
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                        • Sheal

                          Sheal Total Gardener

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                          …..And trying to get to that note pad before you forget it! :biggrin:

                          You've opened a can of worms here @shiney, this could go on for a long while. :snorky:

                          Trying to remember the conversation you wanted to continue after somebody has interrupted it. :doh:
                           
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                          • Loki

                            Loki Total Gardener

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                            :wub2: I have wisdom highlights and need power naps! :)
                             
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                            • Ned

                              Ned Evaporated

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                              I have power highlights and need wisdom naps [​IMG]
                               
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                              • Freddy

                                Freddy Miserable git, well known for it

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                                And you’m still got yer ginger mop :biggrin: :thumbsup:
                                 
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