Giant Pineapple Is Trying To Kill Me, Reveals Charles

PRINCE Charles has demanded a ban on genetically modified crops after the latest attempt on his life by an enormous piece of fruit.

Launching his most outspoken attack so far on GM food, the heir to the throne said a giant pineapple has already tried to crush him to death three times since the beginning of May.

He told the Daily Telegraph: "One is reminded, very acutely, of the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, where the archaeologist fellow is desperately trying to escape from a gigantic boulder - though of course in one's case it is the most enormous pineapple.

"One finds oneself faced with little choice but to run as fast as one can, dodging many tiny arrows and doing one's best to hold on to one's favourite hat.

"But these are the dangers one faces, whether speaking out on controversial issues, or stealing a priceless golden idol from an angry South American tribe."

In the last three years Prince Charles claims to have been stalked by a genetically modified potato, a bunch of grapes and a two tonne strawberry in a wig.

"The bunch of grapes sent my darling wife the most repulsive letters filled with bizarre sexual innuendo, while the police told me the strawberry was armed."

He added: "I really do not understand this fascination with GM foods when Waitrose is doing a very nice Duchy Originals beetroot and dill organic soup for just £2.89."

 

John..I once visited a Royal Ducky garden centre in Cornwall..Sold cheese, jam, post cards etc and the occasional plant starting at about £6-00..you couldn't get anything for less than £2-50 and that was about 5 years ago.:eek:

 

Well one has to live!!! :D

 

true, but I have no desire to help support his lifestyle.:D:D:D

 

First we have a high ranking Christian cleric calling GM crops "Frankenstein". Well, he ought to know. He conducts his Sunday services on a table top in which human remains are embedded, which then culminates in a bout of ritual cannibalism.

Now we have Big Ears, who thinks he is what he is and has got what he has got by Divine right, jumping on the band wagon saying GM is taking us into "realms that belong to God and God alone".

I seem to remember the same being said about satellite technology and space exploration in the early 60s. I bet he uses a mobile phone when abroad.

"Your Highness, the rabble are at the gates, and there is no food."

"Errruurrreuurrr give them Duchy Originals erruurrerrr."

Humbug!!!!

Nik

 

Haha, lets hope he doesnt read this