Guess what happened to Guy Fawkes this time

We all know the story. At least I hope we all do. I can't comprehend how people living in or familiar with Britain might not know. Unless that is, they are 5 years old perhaps. Like my son.

I asked my son today if he knew what bonfire night was all about. I figured he's about old enough now to understand the very basics of the story. I was surprised when he answered 'yes'. Turns out they've been doing it at school.

So I asked him to tell me who Guy Fawkes was. "He was a baddy" came the reply. I thought about this for a second, because I've never been quite sure if I'm honest. Sure, he was a traitor, but I've never been sure if he was betraying the people or acting on behalf of the people, but that's another thing altogether.

So anyway, I asked my son why Guy Fawkes was a baddy, what did he do that was bad. "He sneaked into the castle with some fireworks" came the reply. Ok, I thought. Not quite right, but he is only 5. Perhaps the school has sanitised it a bit for them. So I asked what happened to Guy Fawkes, and what this has to do with bonfires and fireworks, figuring I was treading on dangerous ground now but finding it increasingly difficult to back out. "King James saw him and locked him in the tower, and everyone had a party" came the reply.

Ok, so again quite far from the truth. But I realised by this time that the truth, when you stop to think about it, is quite horrific, and probably more than a 5 year old mind can handle, or is it? So this is the new version of history. Guy Fawkes sneaked into King James's house with some fireworks, got caught, got killed, and all his stuff was put on the fire. Regretting starting the conversation, I left out the bit about his attempt to blow people up with so much explosives that their bodies would never have been found, or the bit about being hung, then torn apart by horses, then his dismembered bits being dragged around the streets, before being burned in a fire. Then I realised that my version with those omissions was actually quite close to the school's version, so that must be the new truth.

 

Arr, they knew how to treat a terrorist back then

November 5th wouldn't be the same if it were comunity service night

 

That Scottish bloke who wanted Scotland to be independent and then went into a massive sulk because he didn't get his own way?

 

Oh dear: seemingly not!
Police investigate Alex Salmond bonfire effigy

 

They'll have to go back to burning an effigy of the pope, that won't upset anyone.

 

Who ever complained about the effigy of Alec Salmond shoud get out more ! - look at the other notables who met a fiery fate in Lewis. BBC Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-29915270

a-a

 

Guy (Guido) Fawkes was born not so far from here - See the link: http://www.historyofyork.org.uk/themes/tudor-stuart/guy-fawkes

 

Fair play, the old "of course we won't do that" cover story

 

Wasn't "burned" though ... blown up is more akin to his ego quite another matter ...